Ah, romance, how I despise thee. Well, I dont really “despise” romance, but hearing the word makes me cringe. I hate seeing/hearing the words “I really need romance right now” coming out of my wife’s mouth because it always means the same thing: “I need you to spend money on me.” Maybe its not the same for some of you other husbands, but being informed that the Mrs. “needs romance” is typically followed by details that include words like “random gifts”, “trip out of town”, “little things here and there” and almost always end with “so I don’t feel like just a housewife”.

The last time I heard this from my wife I decided to experiment a little. I responded:

I understand what you mean. I could use some random blowjobs, naked dancing and crotch grabs so I don’t feel like just a dumb husband.

She responded by chiding me for making fun of her, but really I wasn’t. I mean, she has her list of stuff that makes her feel like “more than” and so do I. The difference is that her list seemingly carries weight because its considered romantic whereas my list is just sex, so its just dirty and dumb.

(To be clear I was kind of making fun of her, but at the same time being serious. I mean, why not, right?)

Dalrock has made a point in the past few months of pointing out how the concept of “romance” is nothing more than men sacrificing and humiliating themselves for women. Debasing themselves. Only through sacrificial “romantic acts” can a man prove his love for his woman, and the normal day-to-day acts of sacrifice don’t count! That’s the important part! I’ve pointed before that the normal sacrifices a man makes like working to afford a nice home, food, clothing and transportation don’t count as romantic acts of sacrifice! Society and the church have downgraded those to “just what you do”, and only acts above and beyond that count as “romantic love”.

In the past a man could treat his wife to niceties out of the kindness of his heart because he loved her. Now its a requirement and failure to commit such acts can be a precursor to divorce. “Well I didn’t feel loved!”

In all honesty, sometimes I see things that I want my wife to have. A shirt. A bag. A cute tin that holds recipes. Sometimes I buy them because I want to, when I can afford to. A lot of them are trinkets, really, but supposedly that’s what she is asking for.

Its tough to give out of love at the point of a gun, or when your giving is rejected the more is demanded. Providing and caring doesn’t mean love anymore. Thanks to social media and advertising its only love when it allows women to keep up with the Jones’s. Yearly passes to Disneyland aren’t enough when Suzy’s husband took her to Hawaii. A trip to Hawaii isn’t enough when Marcy’s husband bought her a new car! A new car just isn’t enough when Terra just moved into a new house in a gated community! And so the requirements for “romance” snowball out of control.

Men are busy. We have jobs and obligations to attend to. Many of us don’t forget our wives, but it seems like some wives want ALL the attention. When this happens they are faced with two choices:

  1. Force men to give over their attention by creating crappy holidays like Valentines day and making sure they feel shamed when they dont meet expectations, even when their intentions are good.
  2. Do something to make your man think about you more.

To prove my point on number one just look at all the pressure at the beginning of February on men to make sure they get that “perfect gift”.

Make sure your fiancés wedding ring is no less than 3 months salary!

I forget where I read it, but I remember reading a story from a woman online who cried because her and her husband were going through some rough financial times and for her birthday or anniversary (I forget which) he bought her a Walmart gift card because he remembered she had mentioned seeing some clothing there she liked. Fortunately she came to her senses and realized that his gift was pure love for her, but she is an exception to the rule. I feel most women would never come to this realization. He could have gotten a loan or something to get her something better! After all, isn’t she worth it?

Isn’t she worth it?

I dont know. Lets ask her husbands sore back. Or maybe his swollen hands. Maybe we can ask the finger he lost in an industrial accident. Maybe I can ask the dead man who fell into a sink hole filled with oil at one of my job sites.

Maybe a woman that asks that question isn’t.

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