God and MGTOW

Late last week I found a post on the page ‘A Voice for Men’ that I responded to. The post was regarding the shaming of men who view adult content and the grief and problems it causes in the forms of overwhelming guilt and depression. I’ve made it pretty clear on my blog how I feel about adult content and what the bible has to say about the issues of lust, so I won’t go into that in this post (feel free to ask about it in the comments or find my other post on this blog).

One of the responses to my response, however, was from a guy who is, apparently, part of the MGTOW movement. If your not familiar, the “Men Going Their Own Way’ is a movement of guys who have basically decided that marriage and women in general are a no win situation. Many of them have vowed to never marry (though they still try to get sex whenever they can) while others have determined to drop any and all sexual interaction with women – period.

The response from the person was pretty clear: “God understands MGTOW.”

So, let’s look. Does God understand MGTOW? Or, rather, does He approve of the MGTOW mindset of avoiding and ‘giving up’ on women altogether?

So What’s Wrong With Cavemen?

Ah, the proverbial caveman. He of little whit and much muscle, who’s solution to life’s problem was to simply bash something with a club or a rock.  Never wondering if he could achieve the greatness of becoming a lawyer, or how he was going to insure the dinosaur he rode to work every day, he just lived day in and day out, lifting heavy things, hunting for food so his family wouldn’t starve and probably having plenty of sex with his wife.

The stereotypical caveman has an number of prominent features, often including a large, sloping forehead, unkempt and matted hair on his head and hair on his chest that would even have made Robin Williams slink off in shame. Often speaking in grunts and crude words, we make fun of him as he tries to explain things to us “intelligent” peoples in often odd terms.

Most prominent about him, however, is his physique. A rugged life lived in a cave along with days full of lifting heavy things, hunting, gathering and fighting off things that want to kill him have made him a superior specimen of mankind. With very little in the way of machines to do his work for him (depending on which era your particular model comes from) the caveman was forced to lift, push and carry most everything on his own. All this manual labor has made the caveman a literal hulk of a man, which his wife happens to adore, along with several other cave-ladies, I’m sure.

So why the general hate of the caveman? Sure we are smarter than him, but he could kick the ass of most modern men with little effort, to be sure. Why is it when we exhibit opinions that aren’t of the “enlightened mainstream” men are referred to as “caveman” or “medieval”? I mean, don’t we “go medieval” on people when we plan on beating them relentlessly?

The Western world has a lack of cavemen in its midst and we suffer for it. Modern “girly-men” who wear skirts (not kilts) and pajama bottoms, who hate the idea of going into the outdoors and don’t have the first clue how to use the most basic of tools are anathema to the image of men everywhere, and science shows us that the testosterone level of modern Western men is in deep decline. It doesn’t matter what modern “enlightened” men tell you, testosterone (or just, T) makes a man a man! The more the better (to an extent of course, too much bodily production of anything can have negative effects).

Guys, want to run faster? Hit harder? Lift more? Be a caveman! The world around us has too many words what with talk shows, politicians, governments, news channels. Too much talk and not enough action!

Want to attract the ladies? Be a caveman! All the time if your dating, on and off if your married. The ladies LOVE the strong silent type! Don’t believe me? Just look at nearly every romance novel ever written! Who is the woman after? The silent spy who can hold his own against a group of enemy soldiers. The knight in dirty armor who doesn’t mince words, but can mince a bad guy with just a few swings of his mighty sword! The single-minded business man who is the terror of Wall Street because he knows what he wants, when he wants it and how he wants it, and he never backs down.

And, our loveable caveman, who shows his affection for his cave-lady by picking her up over his shoulder, carrying her off into a cave and making her feel like a woman.

Caveman, you call me? Hey, thanks! I don’t feel like a caveman, but I’m working hard to get there.

Cute redheads.

Why? Because I love redheads. Okay, so it’s mostly mermaid pictures, but still – gotta love em’. Don’t look if your easily offended by somewhat scantily clad drawings. I may add more later when I find some of my lost folders. Enjoy.

Feminists, the Church and “The New Drug”

Have you heard of “Fight the New Drug”? They are an organization who’s purpose is to fight against the spread and use of pornography. I have made my views on adult material known on this blog and on others where we have had discussions about the subject, but while sitting and thinking last night I had the thought that feminists, for all their railing for and against porn (figure that one out. It’s both empowering and degrading at the same time), are the biggest pushers of “the new drug” and, in many ways, the church helps them.

It sounds weird but hear me out!

Why do men view adult material? Well, typically because they are horny and need some kind of out. Overall this is not a horrible thing, though, like anything that can be done in moderation, some people overuse something that would otherwise be innocuous and turn it into an addiction. I occasionally have an alcoholic beverage with my meal or sometimes when the wife and I are just hanging out soaking in the tub. I enjoy it, but it’s not something I crave or even really think about. This is not true for some people. Some people either have addictive personalities or they just overuse something and their body starts to crave it as a normal thing.

Unlike alcohol or drugs, the sex drive is a naturally occurring desire in both men and women. You can try to suppress it, but in reality that only works for a short period of time. For those with low drives it may be easier to do and they can probably hold out longer, but for those with normal or high drives its just a matter of time before it will overthrow you if its not dealt with.

In my last post I mentioned how it is tantamount to cruelty for the church to ask young men to avoid having sex until they get married, then convince young girls that they shouldn’t be getting married until their late 20’s or early 30’s. Young Christian men are put through the wringer because, guess what, their sex drive doesn’t magickally disappear for 12-15 years while they stand around, waiting for a “good Christian girl” to get her degree and “find herself” before finally deciding to settle down. To add fuel to the fire, these young men are told they are having “evil thoughts” if they so much as imagine a girl naked or fantasize about sex with the young hottie in the pew next to them. I can tell you from personal experience the guilt can be overwhelming. Praying over and over for God to relieve you of your sex drive is about as effective as praying for Him to relieve you from your need to breathe air and remain alive. I mean, sure He could do it, but it’s highly unlikely. It is how He designed us to function.

The church and feminists have a lot in common when it comes to the concept of marriage. Though many hardcore feminists may try to convince young women to opt out of marriage altogether, most mainstream feminists (of which most Christian women are) support the idea of waiting. This thinking, my friends, is why “The New Drug” is becoming so greatly used in our society.

The apostle Paul tells men that, if they can avoid getting married, its a good thing, but if you cannot control your desire for sex then take a wife! He then proceeds to tell us that not all men are able to control their sexual desire and that, indeed, those men who can may be chosen by God for a purpose. Now, if he is saying that it takes an act of God to suppress a mans desire for sex and that God doesn’t pick just anyone for that purpose, how effective is it for a young man to try to fight it? If the solution to the problem is get married, then what is the church doing by telling men and women not to get married until they are in their 30’s, while at the same time telling young men they are wrong for wanting sex? Anyone who is anyone knows that the male sex drive kicks in right around the mid-teens, and once it starts it’s nearly impossible to stop!

When you take away the biblical prescription for the problem then people will find a way to alleviate the problem until the correct prescription can be applied – hence pornography! A temporary fix for a big problem! Is it ideal? Absolutely not! Is it a horrible cancer on society that will cause the downfall of humanity? No, its not that either (not yet anyway). The problems arise when a young Christian man, who should be getting married, having sex and creating a family at 20-25 years of age, turns to adult material to scratch the itch that is his sex drive, and cannot look forward to the REAL fix (his wife) for another 10-12 years. The itch doesn’t go away so he continues to indulge in adult material until, ta-da, he is now “addicted” to it. It’s all he knows! His only other alternative is to go out and have sex outside of marriage, which is absolutely NOT acceptable within the church.

If feminists and the church want to battle “The New Drug” they need to look at reality. Education is not going to fix the problem of young men being addicted to adult material. The real fix is to follow Gods intended plan. “Be fruitful and multiply” was the first commandment to Adam and Eve, and the first commandment in the bible. When we follow Gods plan we find things work so much better than when we try to apply our own fix to a problem.

If we don’t return to the TRUE solution to the problem a much worse solution may come along. One that WILL have such a negative effect on society that it literally COULD cause the downfall of humanity. Sexbots are right around the corner, people. Sure, it seems silly, like something out of a science fiction movie for nerds, but when a young man finds he cannot scratch that itch for another 10 years with a real woman, and an image on a computer screen or in a magazine wont do, well, you know where I’m going with this. No fuss, no muss, no possibilities of pregnancy, no expensive date beforehand or drama after, just a push button interface that sets the mood of the A.I.

It’s not a sci-fi story anymore. They are on their way. If the church doesn’t get back in line with Christ soon, they may have to start praying for a PewBot 6000 to replace their dying congregations.

Does the modern American church prepare men for marriage?

Ran into a post on Reddit in which a poor guy was lamenting his Christian walk mixed with his knowledge of ‘Red pill theology’. It was causing him issue because he now saw marriage, as described in the bible, as a much different game than the one he had been taught in the church he attended growing up. Figuring this out before getting married, he applied this new found knowledge to his life and got himself fit and trim, physically, while avoiding women altogether (also known as ‘monk mode’). His grief came from the fact that now, as a much better looking and fit young man, he was getting attention from women he had never had before, and the desire for sex was becoming unbearable – yet he was remiss to marry because, overall, modern Christian marriages don’t fare much better than non-Christian marriages. It’s still a crap-shoot! Just because a woman says she is a born again believer means next to nothing. She could still end up being as ungodly as any other woman, but you would never know it until it was too late and she is in line to own half your stuff and take your kids away, all while being backed by the church who encouraged you to get married to begin with! I felt bad for the guy, but didn’t want to reply or post anything, as I really don’t care much for the general feel and attitude of the red pill Reddits.

So what does the modern American church do to prepare men for marriage? I mean, the church is a BIG pusher of marriage, though it seems they have joined in the same thinking as feminists and society in general in the idea that people shouldn’t be getting married until they reach their 30’s or so. It almost entirely has to do with the idea that young women are throwing their “true potential” away by marrying young, instead of spending their twenties building a career and “finding themselves” and has almost nothing to do with men. It has been dually noted on many a manosphere blog that asking men to abstain from sex until well into their late 20’s and early 30’s is tantamount to cruelty. Christian men are taught, of course, that sex outside of marriage is wrong and sinful, yet at the same time they are told to wait in hopes that a woman, who’s main pursuit is now NOT marriage, will give herself to him after she is done getting her degrees and “exploring the world”, which typically involves having sex more than a few times before finally settling down with a devout, Christian man.

Unfortunately it seems like the modern American church does nothing but train men to be workhorses in marriage. They are told that they will have all the responsibility of a husband and father, but they are stripped of all the authority necessary to maintain order in their homes. I mean, sure they are still told they need to be disciplining their children (spare the rod, spoil the child, right?), but the authority to administer discipline towards their wives is removed and that can have a profound effect on the attitude of the children. Children learn a lot by watching their parents and if their mother is allowed to run rampant with no regard for authority from her husband the children will learn likewise. If a husband attempts to bring discipline on his wife he is readily castigated by the church, his family, the law and every other entity that can easily be brought down upon him to keep him in line.

Yet, this same husband, were he to attempt to shirk any of his responsibilities as a provider for his family would be just as quickly castigated for being a failure of a man, as he will also be known as if his wife and children start to go astray and rebel (which can happen, but does not always). The American church teaches men and women that every mistake women make are the fault of the men in their lives. Either they are not leading well enough, not loving well enough, not a strong enough Christian, etc., etc.

I feel for this guy, and the advice he was getting varied greatly between “go ahead and start banging chicks” to “you just need to hold on”. The best advice was “start looking for a wife, but be shrewd in your choice.”, which is something that most churches preach, but they do not equip a young man how to be shrewd in his choice of a wife. Most of the time it’s simply “find a godly wife who attends church regularly”, when it should include such nuggets of wisdom as “make sure she is a virgin”, “what is her relationship like with her father, her mother and her family”, “what does she say are her goals in life”. These questions are anathema to modern churches when asked of women.

If your a Christian man looking for a wife I would offer this advice: Find some good manosphere blogs such as Dalrock and read up. Be prepared to have everything you know or have been taught about women, men and the interaction of the two challenged and exposed. As you read, think back on your own previous interactions with women, as well as the interactions of your friends and family. Marvel at the surprising similarities between what you read and what you have seen, then accept what you are reading as a hidden truth. Read further to see how well it integrates with scripture and how men are taught to lead their families and treat their wives. Beware of non-Christian manosphere sites, which contain a lot of wisdom and insight into the human response, but can sometimes contain information not needed by the Christian. Take what is good and throw out the rest. Above all, read your bible and see how the patriarchs of old acted and held themselves. Read about their wives and the women in scripture, and search for a potential wife who exhibits some of the same characteristics.

Godspeed, my friend, you will certainly need it.

In hot pursuit (not).

So during the conversation I had the other night with my aunt she kept brining up a point that, to me, is one of the biggest and most misleading statements in the modern church. She kept telling me that husbands need to pursue their wives the same way Christ pursues His church with an unending and unconditional love. If husbands would just do this then they would find that wives are more willing to be respectful and obedient, instead of husbands trying to utilize their authority, which is offensive because women are adults and people with feelings and wants, etc., etc.

(As I think about it I cannot help but notice her constant pull towards statements like “women are adults, not children”, “women are people too”, “women have feelings and needs and pursuits”. This stems from her human sexuality and psychology training. Combined with growing up in a feminist society, it has made it very difficult for her to read the words of the bible and take them at face value.)

Over at BlendingAme poster Joel posts and excellent reply to her post Mystery in the Presence of God. I will post his preceding reply as well so as to give context:

I fully agree, the idea that God is completely beyond knowing is rubbish…if we couldn’t know him at all, why would he reveal himself through the Word, who is Jesus? It would be useless if that were the case.

He desires to be pursued! The mystery is part of the chase eg Is 45:15

The bible is full of examples where God calls for us to seek Him. What it does not have in it are instances of God pursuing us relentlessly. In fact, Romans 1:28 says:

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting;

This tells me that God, though He loves us, will at some point allow us to walk away from Him and suffer the consequences of our actions. He will not come running after us like some lovesick boyfriend, hoping that if He does enough nice things for us we will turn back to Him. He is complete on His own. We are complementary to Him, but He does not need us – He is His own package.

This concept ties directly into the husband/wife relationship, of which Christ’s relationship with the church is an example in the bible. Modern Christians are very determined to teach husbands that Christ will relentlessly pursue us, and therefore they should relentlessly pursue their wives, but this is wrong because their concept of Christ’s love is wrong! Unfortunately it puts husbands in the position of having to continually pursue or “prove their love” to their wives, while wives are taught that their husbands should be continually pursing them and “proving their love” by providing gifts, dates, compliments, etc.! In the end one of two things will happen, either the husband will get burned out from his constant efforts or the wife will become frustrated because she doesn’t feel her husband is meeting her expectations of being constantly wooed.

Personally I think wives should be content with how and when their husbands show affection and “pursue” them, though I am not against wives asking for a night out on the town or even bringing up a gentle reminder that it’s “been a while” since they last went out. I know that I, personally, get so wrapped up in work and everything that needs to be done around the house that sometimes I forget about going out, I suspect a lot of other men are much the same. It’s not that we don’t love or forget about our wives, it’s just that men can get focused on a task and block out everything else in order to concentrate on it. What I do not think is wise is for wives to cry and complain about how they don’t feel loved because their husband does not make her the center of his world 24/7. To me this is either a sign of immaturity (mentally or spiritually) or maybe the top layer of some much deeper problems that need to be hashed out.

At the same time I think it’s good for husbands to spend time with their wives, as it is beneficial for themselves, their wives and the relationship. This, however, does not mean I think it NEEDS to be done or that it is a SIN if you don’t. Up until maybe a couple hundred years ago men, in their pursuit to provide for their families, didn’t always have the luxury to work near their homes. Some of them travelled the sea (watch the movie, In the Heart of the Sea. The main character left his wife and unborn daughter on a two year whale hunting expedition. TWO. YEARS.), some of them may have had to deliver goods from one place to another. Something that seems simple in our modern age, as we can easily travel 60 miles in an hour, but not so easy back during the days of horse and carriage. The wives of these eras would sometimes not see their husbands for weeks, months or years. And with the only communication being written, well, there was always the possibility that watching them leave to go to work was the last time you would ever hear from them. Modern day romance is a modern day convenience that is taken for granted. Both men and women are almost assured that they will leave for work in the morning with a kiss on the cheek and be back before dinner that evening. It has gone from a luxury to an expectation and the modern church has helped to push that.

Christians would be wise to avoid the gospel of romance and trade it in for the true gospel. Have realistic expectations and don’t be deceived! God loves you, but He will not devote all of His time to chasing you, and women shouldn’t expect this from their husbands either. Husbands, take note that God “remembers” us and, when we are doing good and receiving His affections He gives us good things. “Remember” your wife sometimes because you love her and care for her. It will bring her joy and that joy will be reflected in your relationship wit her, but remember that her joy will need to be replenished from time to time.

In closing I will repeat this suggestion to wives, as I have done in past posts. If you want your husband to pay you more attention then Get Mandy-cized! Embed yourself into your husbands brain by delivering a constant stream of good, healthy sex! Dress in clothes he likes and will notice on you! Dye your hair his favorite color! Send him a naughty picture or flash him your boobs at the dinner table (if no one else is around, of course)! Have a “Mandy” attitude! Doing this will put him back into boyfriend mode and he will find himself thinking about you in all the wrong ways for all the right reasons at the most inopportune times of the day! And he will love it! Sure it may sound like a lot of work for you, and it probably will be at first, but eventually it will just become the thing you do. And don’t forget that this man has pledged to spend his time, effort and body providing for you, 8 to 12 hours a day. And in case you need something a little more blunt:

Want a husband? Get Mandy-cized!

As I look over some of the delectable artwork by Playboy contributor Dean Yeagle (no, I don’t read it, not even for the articles, but have seen Yeagle’s artwork elsewhere) I can’t help but smile at some of the cute and innocent images he draws of his signature character, Mandy.

Mandy is just about every mans dream. Now most of you might look at her and say, “Well, yeah – LOOK at her! What guy wouldn’t drool over that?”, but I would argue that Mandy’s looks are only 50% of her appeal (okay, maybe 60-70%). The rest is in the sheer joy in her face and body language! In every picture I have seen of her she is either smiling or has a ‘pouty face’ look that makes me smile. I especially love these two pictures of her dancing with her dog (as I am writing this ELO’s Don’t Bring Me Down is playing, rather appropriate, actually).

If you want a good husband, one that cant get enough of you, get Mandy-cized! If not in body, then in attitude! A woman with a bright and bubbly attitude is a joy to a man and he looks forward to seeing her every day. She is always on his mind.