Ah, the proverbial caveman. He of little whit and much muscle, who’s solution to life’s problem was to simply bash something with a club or a rock. Never wondering if he could achieve the greatness of becoming a lawyer, or how he was going to insure the dinosaur he rode to work every day, he just lived day in and day out, lifting heavy things, hunting for food so his family wouldn’t starve and probably having plenty of sex with his wife.
The stereotypical caveman has an number of prominent features, often including a large, sloping forehead, unkempt and matted hair on his head and hair on his chest that would even have made Robin Williams slink off in shame. Often speaking in grunts and crude words, we make fun of him as he tries to explain things to us “intelligent” peoples in often odd terms.
Most prominent about him, however, is his physique. A rugged life lived in a cave along with days full of lifting heavy things, hunting, gathering and fighting off things that want to kill him have made him a superior specimen of mankind. With very little in the way of machines to do his work for him (depending on which era your particular model comes from) the caveman was forced to lift, push and carry most everything on his own. All this manual labor has made the caveman a literal hulk of a man, which his wife happens to adore, along with several other cave-ladies, I’m sure.
So why the general hate of the caveman? Sure we are smarter than him, but he could kick the ass of most modern men with little effort, to be sure. Why is it when we exhibit opinions that aren’t of the “enlightened mainstream” men are referred to as “caveman” or “medieval”? I mean, don’t we “go medieval” on people when we plan on beating them relentlessly?
The Western world has a lack of cavemen in its midst and we suffer for it. Modern “girly-men” who wear skirts (not kilts) and pajama bottoms, who hate the idea of going into the outdoors and don’t have the first clue how to use the most basic of tools are anathema to the image of men everywhere, and science shows us that the testosterone level of modern Western men is in deep decline. It doesn’t matter what modern “enlightened” men tell you, testosterone (or just, T) makes a man a man! The more the better (to an extent of course, too much bodily production of anything can have negative effects).
Guys, want to run faster? Hit harder? Lift more? Be a caveman! The world around us has too many words what with talk shows, politicians, governments, news channels. Too much talk and not enough action!
Want to attract the ladies? Be a caveman! All the time if your dating, on and off if your married. The ladies LOVE the strong silent type! Don’t believe me? Just look at nearly every romance novel ever written! Who is the woman after? The silent spy who can hold his own against a group of enemy soldiers. The knight in dirty armor who doesn’t mince words, but can mince a bad guy with just a few swings of his mighty sword! The single-minded business man who is the terror of Wall Street because he knows what he wants, when he wants it and how he wants it, and he never backs down.
And, our loveable caveman, who shows his affection for his cave-lady by picking her up over his shoulder, carrying her off into a cave and making her feel like a woman.
Caveman, you call me? Hey, thanks! I don’t feel like a caveman, but I’m working hard to get there.
