Earlier this week I was listening to The Older Brother podcast featuring, well, the only podcaster I listen too, Aaron Clarey, aka: Captain Capitalism. It’s a good podcast and younger folk may want to listen in for some wisdom from older guys (and a girl) as well as some b.s. and funny stories along the way. Its their “PG-13” podcast. Something was brought up during the podcast (it was an older one, not the most recent) that made a good and salient point for you married women out there.
I forget exactly what discussion led up to it, but the point was brought up that men like to see their wives naked and this fact should not offend wives. In fact, wives should feel more concern about their husbands NOT asking to see them naked! Most women give this no thought until its far too late, and that’s as shame. At some point, ladies, and this holds true for men too, you will stop being noticed by the opposite sex. Sure young men might hold the door open for you or help you take your groceries out to the car, but the last thing on their minds is that they would want to see you naked. I know, this stings, as women’s entire lives really are geared around sexual attention. However, there is one guy in the world you can ensure will enjoy seeing you naked for the rest of your life – your husband! Yes, yes, he will ALWAYS enjoy looking at the firm busts and buns of younger ladies, just get over it, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Your body, however, will always be special to him!
Well. It CAN be.
See, your body is either going to be your husbands playground or his battleground. If your stingy with your body, always hiding it, making sex a difficult or boring endeavor or always denigrating yourself these things will be programmed into your husbands visual cue for your body.
Think about something special in your home. An object that is associated with memories, good or bad. Now think about how, when you see said object, the things you remember and the feelings associated with it. That object is a visual cue for your brain to recall things, for better or worse.
(Note: The first person to bring up women being “objectified” gets a permanent ban.)
When you do these things your husbands brain gets programmed to associate the visual cue of your naked body with mostly negative things. Boring, forgettable, starfish sex. Frumpy, baggy, shapeless clothing. Or maybe nothing at all as he hasn’t really seen you naked in daylight (or lamplight) in a decade. Now, this isn’t to say that your husband isn’t going to be aroused by your nakedness simply because your naked, he is, after all, a man. However as you get older the visual stimuli will start to decrease and the mental image will start to take over.
This mental image is sometimes referred to as ‘wife goggles”.
When your body is your husbands battleground that’s all he is going to remember when you are both much older and he sees you naked. Is that what you want? You’re building a set of “wife goggles” that will see “old ironsides” instead of “woah, sexy mamma”!
When your body is your husbands playground, however, the visual cue for your nakedness will bring up memories of – what? His wife dancing around in her underwear? Wild, passionate, messy sex? Laughing? Playing? Nudes sent via text?
I recall an incident when I had to travel a short distance out of town for a meeting over a control system with a fairly good sized oil company. Not one of the big players, but a big player where I’m from. It was mid-morning and myself and the other attendees were just settling down in a rather large, 1970’s decorated conference room when my phone buzzed. It was a text from my wife. Thinking nothing of it I popped the text open to see what was up. Well, I can only leave it to your imagination as to what I saw. Rather shocked, and more than pleasantly surprised, I found myself having to quickly close said text! Fortunately no one spotted what I had received so there were no problems, but I still remember it to this day!
Ladies, YOU have the power to form, in your husbands mind, how he sees you for the rest of your life! You can program his “wife goggles”! Don’t get offended that he’s asking for boob shots or clips of you doing naughty things to yourself because some day you may find yourself wondering why he doesn’t ask for those things anymore. By then it will be too late! Do both of you a favor and start building up those memories TODAY! RIGHT NOW! Don’t wait for him to ask! You know your husband! You know what he likes! Try new things! Get Mandy-cized! Do a little sexy research! Give him a gift that keeps on giving! Wake him up to the smell of pancakes and bacon and his wife in nothing but some heels and an apron! Don’t wait for him to ask you for a blowjob, ASK HIM IF YOU CAN GIVE HIM ONE FIRST! You want to see a stunned look on his face? Try that! I guarantee most guys will actually be thrown off by such a thing! Your being intimidated, self-conscious and hesitant only keeps the both of you from good things! Today and in the future.