Fellowship of the ???

My father asked me a week or two ago about where I was in finding a new church. I informed him that I had given it some thought, but hadn’t gone out to investigate any of the local churches, but I have been reading my bible on my own and listening to some bible study podcasts.

Now, I didn’t tell him that I really have a feeling that I am not going to find a church that isn’t a)complementarian and b)compromised by feminist-lite Christians. This fact makes me feel like it would be a huge waste of time and effort, and possibly lead to unneeded conflict with people I don’t know.

Like a good father and Christian, however, he reminded me that I needed fellowship with other Christians in order to grow. That got me to wondering: Does attending a modern Western church really even count as ‘fellowship’?

Non Sympatico

One of the problems with women teaching scripture to other women (as opposed to sharing scripture) is that many women will find an exposition of scripture that makes her feel comfortable, though it may be wrong. This can put her at odds with her husband, whom she is made to believe she knows better than. Consequently this is more prevalent in women who have been Christian for a long time as opposed to women who are young Christians. One of the reasons is the ongoing concept pushed by Western churches that women are spiritually superior to men.

• Do you go to bible study every Wednesday while your husband sits at home and relaxes after a day at work?
• Do you have a strict bible reading schedule and rarely, if ever, miss your reading time while your husband is hit and miss?
• Do you read all the latest books on having a deeper relationship with Jesus?
• Do you ONLY listen to Christian music and avoid secular music?
• Do you attend no less than three women’s retreats a year while your husband hasn’t been to one in the last two years?
• Do you sing all the hymns and praise songs at the top of your lungs while your husband seemingly mumbles most tunes?
• Is your husband giving less than 10% of his income to the church and you have to constantly remind him that 10% is biblical?

Congratulations, you are more spiritually qualified than your husband to read and understand the Word of God! Well, at least in the eyes of the people inside the building you call church. God, on the other hand, thinks quite a bit differently:

So What’s Wrong With Cavemen?

Ah, the proverbial caveman. He of little whit and much muscle, who’s solution to life’s problem was to simply bash something with a club or a rock.  Never wondering if he could achieve the greatness of becoming a lawyer, or how he was going to insure the dinosaur he rode to work every day, he just lived day in and day out, lifting heavy things, hunting for food so his family wouldn’t starve and probably having plenty of sex with his wife.

The stereotypical caveman has an number of prominent features, often including a large, sloping forehead, unkempt and matted hair on his head and hair on his chest that would even have made Robin Williams slink off in shame. Often speaking in grunts and crude words, we make fun of him as he tries to explain things to us “intelligent” peoples in often odd terms.

Most prominent about him, however, is his physique. A rugged life lived in a cave along with days full of lifting heavy things, hunting, gathering and fighting off things that want to kill him have made him a superior specimen of mankind. With very little in the way of machines to do his work for him (depending on which era your particular model comes from) the caveman was forced to lift, push and carry most everything on his own. All this manual labor has made the caveman a literal hulk of a man, which his wife happens to adore, along with several other cave-ladies, I’m sure.

So why the general hate of the caveman? Sure we are smarter than him, but he could kick the ass of most modern men with little effort, to be sure. Why is it when we exhibit opinions that aren’t of the “enlightened mainstream” men are referred to as “caveman” or “medieval”? I mean, don’t we “go medieval” on people when we plan on beating them relentlessly?

The Western world has a lack of cavemen in its midst and we suffer for it. Modern “girly-men” who wear skirts (not kilts) and pajama bottoms, who hate the idea of going into the outdoors and don’t have the first clue how to use the most basic of tools are anathema to the image of men everywhere, and science shows us that the testosterone level of modern Western men is in deep decline. It doesn’t matter what modern “enlightened” men tell you, testosterone (or just, T) makes a man a man! The more the better (to an extent of course, too much bodily production of anything can have negative effects).

Guys, want to run faster? Hit harder? Lift more? Be a caveman! The world around us has too many words what with talk shows, politicians, governments, news channels. Too much talk and not enough action!

Want to attract the ladies? Be a caveman! All the time if your dating, on and off if your married. The ladies LOVE the strong silent type! Don’t believe me? Just look at nearly every romance novel ever written! Who is the woman after? The silent spy who can hold his own against a group of enemy soldiers. The knight in dirty armor who doesn’t mince words, but can mince a bad guy with just a few swings of his mighty sword! The single-minded business man who is the terror of Wall Street because he knows what he wants, when he wants it and how he wants it, and he never backs down.

And, our loveable caveman, who shows his affection for his cave-lady by picking her up over his shoulder, carrying her off into a cave and making her feel like a woman.

Caveman, you call me? Hey, thanks! I don’t feel like a caveman, but I’m working hard to get there.

VBS: Good or Pointless?

So the vacation bible school season around my part of town recently ended. If you go to any mainstream church then you know what I’m talking about because it happens every year. Churches everywhere invite kids, who have been languishing at home, bored, to come to the church and enjoy a week or so of bible school.

Now back in the day, when I was a much younger lad, I also attended VBS during the summer, but boy howdy was it a much different beast than it is now. In fact, I would say that back in my day VBS wasn’t a beast at all. I remember having to memorize bible verses, snack time, worship and some arts and crafts, but these are nothing compared to the monstrosity that VBS is now.

Its’ how they’ve been trained.

So if you have read over any of my previous blog posts you know that not that long ago I left the church I was attending over how they were changing the meaning of scripture to accommodate modern culture, and that despite my leaving, my wife decided she would still be attending, against my wishes, of course. Something pertaining to the subject has been sitting in my mind for a while so yesterday I spoke to her again about her going against my wishes, which is sin, as she is commanded by the bible to be obedient to me, her husband, and submit to my will.

Now, this is done to protect her, as being at a church that is willing to change the meaning of scripture because it makes them uncomfortable is dangerous to believers, even if that change is there because its generally how most churches think, but that’s not how my wife sees it. She sees it as me trying to control her simply because I “think I’m right”. It doesn’t matter to her that she is supposed to be submitting to my authority, according to the God she follows. All that matters is that I am telling her what to do, with authority, and that doesn’t jive.

Deus Ex Machina: The New Covenant

“God from the Machine”

This is the translation for the term Deus Ex Machina, a term that, if you watch a lot of movies, you may be familiar with. Punch the term up in the ol’ Bing search engine and you get this definition:

“an unexpected power or event saving a seemingly hopeless situation, especially as a contrived plot device in a play or novel.”

A perfect example of this mechanic would be Dr. Who’s sonic screwdriver. When all seems hopeless and the good Dr. and company seem to be in an inescapable situation the sonic screwdriver can easily be used as the “deus ex machina” to get them out of it. The device is an escape route, it can do anything and everything, even things it has never done in the past.

The Coarsening of Language and ‘af’ has to go (cause its stupid)

There is little doubt that over the past several decades the American culture has grown more coarse in its language and its acceptance of coarse language. Now, I’m no prude who frowns at every cuss word that comes out of someone’s mouth, there’s a time and a place for everything. Lets face it, shouting “fiddlesticks” in the middle of a fight is not only extremely odd (who knows, maybe your opponent laughing at you would end the conflict) but it is physically underwhelming. There is power in words, even physical power. I recall the episode of Mythbusters in which they took people and subjected them to extreme discomfort (via putting their hands into an ice bath) and testing how long they could withstand the pain. During the first run they were not allowed to curse, while during the second they were told to let it rip and boy howdy did they. The test concluded that the test subjects were able to withstand the pain of the extreme cold LONGER when they were allowed to curse than when they were not.