So las week was a pretty garbage week.
My wife, rebellious as ever, wrote me a letter informing me that I am not only a loser, but I have no faith because I am “running away” from the state of California instead of trusting in God to keep us safe, and that we will only move if SHE approves and only in the way SHE approves of. Also that I don’t serve God because I don’t go to church or do anything she approves of as being “serving”.
I also had an interesting conversation with my dad when he asked me if we were, in fact, moving to Florida, in which I recounted the discussion with my wife to him only to have him basically side with her. His point was that if God wanted me to move then I would get some kind of supernatural affirmation from Him, and so would my wife, and that if I want my wife to submit to me as her husband I should work on being a better christian by going to church.
Now I made it clear to him that I don’t go to any of our local churches because they shy away from scripture. Sure you will never find a church with perfect people, but as christians we should be able to find a church that adheres to the word of God, which is not difficult to do as a church if you just decide to do it. When he asked for examples I pointed out the situation of the last church HE left because the church started appointing women as pastors and teachers. He felt this was against scripture and left the church. I also pointed out the situation of the old church I used to attend in which the pastor told the congregation that if the men weren’t willing to accept teaching from wives then they can’t expect their wives to be submissive and obedient, which is 100% against what the bible says!
We went back and forth during the conversation, but my main argument was: What does the word of God say? He would argue that moving was a big decision and that God would affirm the decision if it was His will. I would argue that God gave me a brain capable of determining danger or a bad situation, and that His word ensures me that He is with me no matter where I go, so assuming its not a sinful act and it makes sense then moving is a good idea before the state of CA goes full crazy lockdown. He would argue that the decision was so important that God would affirm the decision to my wife as well if it was His will, while I argued that christian wives already receive instruction to submit to and obey their husbands, so why would there be an expectation of a wife receiving the same affirmation as her husband? Sarah didn’t get affirmation from God on moving, God told Abraham, “Hey, your going to pack up and move. You don’t know where your going, but I’ll get you there”. Sarah was praised by Peter as being a hero of faith for her obedience to her husband, not for her roadblocking him.
Over and over we went, me pointing out SCRIPTURE and him, my dad, whom I have trusted as a strong christian for all of my life, sidestepping and making excuses for not following scripture. I pointed out that christians husbands HAVE NO CHOICE as to whether or not they provide for their wives, they must do so by virtue of being christians and being obedient to Gods commands. Failure to do so is sin! I pointed out that christian wives HAVE NO CHOICE as to whether or not they submit to and obey their husbands, they must do so by virtue of being christians and being obedient to Gods commands. Failure to do so is sin! He tried to tell me that the two commands are completely different. How so, I asked? Both are commandments from God. Do this because I say to, not because you feel the other person is acting properly or not. Its a tie-breaker. No christian husband can deny his wife food, clothing and shelter because he feels she is acting improperly (though he can deny her “extras” if she is misbehaving) because God has commanded him to provide. No christian wife can refuse to submit and obey to any non-sinful request or command from her husband because she feels he is acting improperly because God has commanded her to submit!
This is just proving out to me, again, that most christians are afraid of the words of the bible and choose to either only enforce those scriptures that command christians to do simple things, like love your neighbor or help the poor, while modifying the more difficult commandments or ignoring them altogether!
“You must go to church because the bible says so!”
“Sure the bible says wives are to submit to their husbands, but not if the wife doesn’t want to!”
You really can’t have it both ways with any ounce of honesty. It’s as I said in my posts about dealing with my old pastors, if you can ignore one scripture because you feel its culturally irrelevant or no longer valid, OR YOU ADD EXTRA STIPULATIONS TO IT, then you can ignore ANY scripture for the same reason. If my wife doesn’t feel she has to be obedient because I’m not “christian enough” for her then I don’t need to go to church because I don’t feel the churches are “churchy” enough for me. And the church down the road can have gay pride Sunday services because they feel the scripture saying homosexuality is sinful was only relevant for biblical times, before they had drugs and treatments to deal with the medical issues and when people were less tolerant.
And, soon, the entire bible is useless.
I’m uncertain what will happen with regard to my moving. Its not like I was planning on moving any time soon, but was hoping that by the middle of the year we would be prepped to go, and be out of here by no later than the end of the next year, but with the way things are going, well, I may have to move forward with my emergency plan of moving, well, just myself, and allowing my wife to commit to her desertion while she stays here in California. Its not something I want to do, but at this point she has almost forced my hand: Do as I planned, or give up my authority and submit to her will.
Unfortunately, for both of us, the authority I have as a husband is not mine to give up.
Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.