The other day I had an interesting interaction with my wife. Now for the past couple of weeks a lot has been going on in both of our lives. I have been spending a lot of time out of town for work while some people she knows have suffered from various medical issues and died.
One person was a man we knew when I used to go to our old church. He, unfortunately, contracted COVID and pneumonia and passed away after about a week or two in the hospital. He had a history of drug use in his past including illicit substances and steroids, so his body was in pretty bad shape to begin with, which seems to be par for the course in these COVID deaths.
The other was a woman she knew from the same church, which she still attends.
Both incidents were kind of difficult for her to deal with, but overall she only had a acquaintance relationship with both. She offered to sing for the lady’s funeral, alongside the woman’s brother, as well as make some food.
Along with all of this she took a trip out of town with her sister so her sister could pick up a new truck her husband had purchased, which consisted of ten hours of driving, there and back, only to have the truck damaged by the dealership just before they arrived.
The past couple of weeks for myself have consisted of travelling out to the coast and working either in an oil production facility in the middle of nowhere or in the fields of a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Both are exceedingly hot, as temperatures pushed past 100 degrees with little shade beyond my wide-brimmed hat and an umbrella. Both consist of driving 2-3 hours to get to the site, 8-10 hours of work, then 2-3 hours of driving back into town. Both are dusty and dry and not fun to spend time in. To make matters worse I had been working on terminating fiber optic cable, which needs to be kept clean. Once that was done we had to test all of our terminations and connections, troubleshoot, fix, then move on to testing the devices that will be using all of this stuff, troubleshoot, fix, etc.
Last Saturday my wife was running around making food for and attending the funeral for her lady friend while I stayed at home. While at home I did laundry, shuttled my son to and from work, went to the store early in the morning to get some things for the house, as well as some things she needed.
I did spend some time up in my office working on trying to get my Switch to stream to my Discord server. I had a couple of my friends jump in and tell me what they were seeing and hearing so it would be working properly. I was using an incorrect USB port that was preventing audio from going through and it took a good hour or so to figure out what was going on and correct the problem, but I got it done and will be doing some streaming because I like talking with people.
At the end of the day my wife, my son and I were all sitting in the living room when my wife asked me what I did for the day. I explained what I did and then said, “Some people might think its not that much, but I think it was plenty!”.
My wife huffed at me.
You know the sound. The sound you make when someone says something you think is BS.
I turned to her and asked, “What?”
She was deadpan looking at me.
“Nothing.” she said, and she turned her face back toward her phone.
I’ve said before that women, and probably christian women more than non-christian women, have been taught to believe that a husbands work is of no consequence. That the food on the table, the roof over the families head, the fuel in the car and the niceties like cell phones, internet and gym memberships are BASELINE work for a man. If he wants any kind of praise, if he wants to be told he is a great husband or a great father he must work BEYOND the BASELINE for that to even be considered. Oh, sure, if those things lack, if there is no food, if there is no roof and even if there is no internet or cell phones, he can be derided and ridiculed.
Dalrock did a great job of documenting THE CHURCH’S insistence that men who fall short of their wives expectations and desires can be brought back into line by “holy fits” of anger in which they even encouraged women to intentionally line up the dishes they plan on breaking and throwing to make their point.
This is the state of the modern Western church. Men are subjects. Men are cattle. Men are ATM machines.
But they can be no heroes. Not anymore.