Yearly “It’s A Wonderful Life” Observation

No joke, it seems like every time I watch this movie I catch something of interest or something about it comes up in a discussion with someone.

So, Christmas Day the wife and I had all finished up with everything that was going on and settled in for the night to watch a movie before soaking in the bathtub and indulging in some adult beverages. After a few shots she starts getting a little loopy and loose lipped so we start having a discussion about adult movies and whether they are right or wrong for Christians to watch. Now, we have this discussion every so often, typically after we have both been drinking a bit, because its just something that eventually comes up, since we both don’t have a problem with watching them together (though I know she enjoys it a bit more after a few drinks).

“Well it’s lust, isn’t it?”, she asked me.

“It’s not lust like your thinking ‘lust'”, I told her. “You’re thinking lust as a purely sexual sin, but its not. I CAN be, but lust itself is not necessarily sexual. You can lust over other things.”

“Yeah, but you’re thinking about someone else.”, she said.

“So what?”, I answered back. “Just because you think about driving someone else’s car doesn’t mean your going to do it or that your lusting after the car. Besides, I would say the majority of married men, especially Christian ones, turn to their wives when they get turned on anyway.”

“Really?”, she asked.

“Yeah. Take the cop on It’s A Wonderful Life, Bert. During the scene were the blonde walks by while he and the cabbie and George are talking. What does he say after she walks away? ‘I gotta go home and see what the wife’s doing’. Why did he say that? Because he was turned up and wanted to ‘go see his wife'”

The scene in question is here below. This clip is HORRIBLE and the audio is garbage, but essentially what it boils down to is the main character of the story, George Bailey, is talking with two of his buddies: Cabbie, Ernie and police officer, Bert (Yeah, yeah, I think this was probably way before Sesame Street). Whilst in discussion along comes Violet Bick, a young lady who has carried a flame for old George since they were young and apparently the prettiest girl in town. Now, no joke, Gloria Grahame looks absolutely gorgeous in this scene and that dress is very, VERY nice. Violet does a little flirt sniping with George which also seems to affect both Bert and Ernie (and a little old man crossing the street, apparently). What happens afterward is this:

[Ernie] Want to come along, Bert? We’ll show you the town!

[Bert] No, thanks. I think I’ll go home and see what the wife is doing.

Obviously Violets youthful and playful flirting has affected him and, to us guys anyway, its apparent that he wants to head home and “see what his wife is doing”. <wink, wink>

My wife, however, says she always thought that he wanted to head home to basically kill his base desires by viewing his ugly wife! So basically he wanted to head home for a downer! Now this is not surprising to me at all because most of society and even the church have taught women that men are dogs, always on the hunt for a piece of meat, and, if given the opportunity, they will have sex with whatever woman is willing and available. So imagine my wife’s surprise at the revelation that men can be turned on by one woman, yet seek to assuage their sexual appetite by seeking out their wives! Why? Because vows! Loyalty! Comfort! Availability!

The majority of moral men would turn away from an opportunity to bed another woman because men generally value loyalty and, not going to lie, avoid getting in trouble, of which bedding a strange woman or a woman who is not your wife can lead to.

Bert wanted to head home to get some, from his wife!

I’ve said before that if women want more sex from their husbands they can do two things to contribute to creating the environment to make it happen:

  1. Just do it! Just have sex with your husband. Don’t wait for him to initiate, just grab him and give him a blowjob. PRESENT for him! Yes, drop your panties, bend over and offer him some! Any time of the day, it doesn’t matter, just do it.
  2.  Don’t frown on your husband finding other women attractive! All men, ALL MEN look at other women, it cannot be stopped. If you say your husband DOESN’T look at other women it just means he’s gotten really good at hiding it because he DOES do it. Don’t discourage him! I mean, hopefully he’s not dumb enough to gawk and drool, but if he sees another woman whats the harm in letting him enjoy looking at her. More than likely he will never see her again, so who cares! Learn from it. WHY did he like her? Ask him! Was it her hair? Her clothing? Discouraging him from being excited only hampers your ability to have sex with him and hampers his ability to go buck wild with you.

Our society has made monogamy a prison. Men are told they should avert their eyes and that they are sinful for seeing a woman who is not their wife and appreciating her beauty, but nothing is further from the truth. I wont deny that, yes, there is a line where it becomes lust, but that line is far, far from where the modern church and society has placed it, and unless a man starts planning on bumping into another woman for a quick tryst he has not crossed it. And its not a matter of sinning by degrees, its a binary thing. You are either in sin or not, you are not “close to sinning” or “sinning just a bit”, though you can create an environment that could make it easier to sin.

I greatly enjoy Its A Wonderful Life, it seems to be the movie that keeps on giving and I get a little more out of it every time I watch it. If you haven’t seen it I would tell you to go and watch it now, even though its not Christmas time. It really is an incredible story, well told, well acted and, Donna Reed….oh Lord help me. They just dont make ladies like they used to.



  1. Great post, Snapper! The porn issue is something we probably don’t agree on, but I can see how everything else you mentioned is true and makes sense.

    “My wife, however, says she always thought that he wanted to head home to basically kill his base desires by viewing his ugly wife!”

    LOL!!! No, I think you’re right about the man’s reaction. My husband does that, too, and has even told me that he loves knowing he can come home afterward to me. He sees A LOT of uber sexy women… he even worked with another police officer lady who was probably the hottest female cop in our department!!! But I never felt threatened because we have so much good sex it’s just not an issue. Plus he’s told me he doesn’t like how hard and jaded police women get… he likes coming home to someone more “innocent” or “naive” to that kind of constant evil. But lust-wise, she’d be a perfect 10 to lust after.

    I think it *would* be an issue if 1) we didn’t have sex or enough *good* sex or (back to the porn issue) 2) a man uses porn like Ame’s first husband did.

    • That’s great to hear for you and your husband. I hope people understand that I am not saying pornography is never bad, it most certainly can be, but each person must determine for themselves if it’s a useful tool or an anchorsomething to enjoy from time to time or to avoid.

  2. My fiancé is very outspoken and often tells me when he sees an attractive woman on the street or in a movie. I would lie if I said that it never bothers me, but I learned to accept it. Also there’s this one look that he throws at no other woman but me. Other women might be able to turn him on too, but only I can make him melt away with a smile or in a cute dress.
    He’ll also tell me when he noticed that another man looked at me, even if it was one of his friends. At first I didn’t want to hear this either because to me it sounded as if he was talking badly about them, but he would always reply something like: “What do you mean? I’m not talking badly, I’m only telling you the truth. Men check out women, that’s normal and only means that these men are heterosexual, nothing else.”
    Needless to say that I also throw careful but close looks at attractive men. My reaction comes close to cop Bert’s: I’ll end up wondering what my man is doing right now, or if he’s with me I’ll lean towards him and smile.

    • That’s great! I am not surprised that it still bothers you even knowing that he loves you. My wife told me something about some guy who whistled at her or something and I basically told her “yeah, okay” to which she asked if it bothered me. I asked her if it should and if so why. She then told me she would be bothered if she saw me looking at some other woman and I told her that for her to be bothered is silly and more a reflection on her own issues than anything else. We’ve been married for over 25 years, if she hasn’t figured out I love her by now then she’s not paying much attention. Men like hot women and women like hot men, regardless of their age. To try and play otherwise is both silly and futile.

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