Just a Reminder: A Wife is Not a Compass.

This isn’t a knock against women so much as it is gullible men. During the week I overheard my dad talking to someone about my buddy I mentioned in another post, the one who’s wife is divorcing him. During the conversation my dad mentioned to whom he was speaking: “You know, I told him, maybe this is God trying to get your attention because you haven’t been walking right with him for a while.”

No. No, no, NO!

How did this become a thing and when did it start getting pushed by Christian men so much? I’ve mentioned before that when my own wife and I had issues I started reading a book about how wives were a mans “compass” and an indicator of whether or not he was walking right with God. Even back then, as blue pill and stupid as I was I questioned it because it made no sense! My wife at the time was telling me that SHE was having all kinds of issues, “so what then,” I thought, “am I supposed to do if my compass is BROKEN?” It caused me all kinds of issues and confusion particularly because the bible doesn’t say women are perfect – they are born with the same sinful nature men are! So how do pastors and other Christians expect women to be a guidance system for men when they are just as broken, despicable and lost as we are?? They can’t! Not only is it an impossibility its not biblical and therefore the concept should be summarily rejected!

I got ahold of my friend last night and reminded him that what he is going through is the result of his wife’s sinful and selfish decisions and NOT a reflection of his walk with the Lord. The fact that he tried to hold his wife to her vows and even tried the whole “I can change” bit, to her refusal, says more about his walk with God than anything!

If men want a good diagnosis of their walk with God they only need look to the bible. Are you obeying Gods commandments? Yes? Great! Keep on doing that! No? Pray about it and get on board with doing so! DO NOT LOOK TOWARD YOUR WIFE! She can be happy, sad or bitchy regardless of your walk with God and to gauge your walk with Him based on her current emotion is self-destructive and foolish.

Dont give in to the “strange doctrine”, because that’s what it is.



  1. okay … if it weren’t so freakin scary, it’d be funny as heck that people think women should be the compass for anyone. because … humanity, depravity, the fall of man AND women, hormones! and … not the least of which … it puts women up equal with God. whoa. very bad. do not put anyone or anything up equal with God. ever.

    • The book I read really tripped me out in what it was saying but it was serious. Dalrock has been keeping track of this phenomenon for quite some time and it’s embedded pretty deep into the church mind it seems. Scary stuff indeed. No person should be used as a gauge on the quality of our walk with God, only the bible. I mean, men should be loving their wives as the bible instructs, but that falls back to obeying the commandments of God rather than keeping ones wife happy. The same goes for wifely submission. It’s a dangerous thing to teach.

  2. “The fact that he tried to hold his wife to her vows and even tried the whole “I can change” bit,” his marriage is dead. It is over. It has ceased to be. If he is pleading with her saying “I can change” there is no hope.

    Give the marriage a good burial.

  3. If a man’s marriage is “dead” and “over” at the point when he tries to hold his wife to her vows– vows that she took as an adult entering (biblically) into and under his protection and authority, then he must not have had any authority over her in the first place. He needs to take his “I can change” to God, but women need their feet held to their husbands’ fires far more often than they usually do.

    Some of the clearest and seemingly most-biblical premarital or marriage counselling I have seen or heard was delivered by a fictional alcoholic rancher with a wilful and prodigal wife, but I’ve never yet seen its like even addressed in the church or from the church. I refer, of course, to the Right Reverend George Washington McClintock (Dr. of Counselling, Cattle, Whiskey, and Fryingpans). Second is the model of Petruccio, who used such tender mercies as sleep deprivation and enforced fasting to most tenderly tame his shrew.

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