Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:6
There was a time when a wife respected her husband as her lord. No, not in the same way God is “The Lord”, but lord as a station, as one with authority over her. In our modern Western society you would rarely, if ever, hear a woman refer to her husband as “sir”, much less “lord”. I pointed out in one of my other posts that while watching the I Love Lucy show on DVD, our red-headed protagonist (antagonist ?), when having been caught lying or otherwise being crafty, would refer to her husband, Ricky, as “sir”. Not so long ago, around the early 1900’s and prior, this wouldn’t have been so out of place, but since the mid 1900’s and the advent of feminism a woman who referred to her husband as sir, in any capacity, would be derided as a door mat and a failure for The Cause ©.
The bible is clear on the fact that husbands ARE lords and masters over their households and that includes their servants, children AND wives, but modern society and the powers that be have done their best to crush any concept of husbandly/fatherly authority through media and shaming. Everywhere you look, from movies to TV, husbands and fathers are relegated to the useful oaf: Never very intelligent, but kept around for his ability to kill spiders and (most of the time) paycheck. Without his wife to give him direction he is a mental noodle. Even the more Conservative shows of the day like Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing make it a point that the wife is, ultimately, the brains and the boss of the house, though her conservatism means she doesn’t bring it up unless she needs to.
Instead of treating them as lords and masters women, at a young age, are taught to treat their husbands as sons, or, kids, rather. How many times have you heard women throw out the joke “I have three kids….well, four if you count my husband”. Rather than doing her husbands wishes wives are told they need to command their husbands and assign them housework and chores in return for gifts (ie: sex) the same way they assign their kids housework and chores for allowance. They are taught to talk down to their husbands in ways they would never talk to others. Little things make a big difference and addressing ones husband with serious threats like “you need to do x” or “if you don’t y” are commonplace and glossed over by both husbands and wives.
I now a lot of Christian women would argue with me that their husband is NOT their lord and that only God is their lord but they are looking at this all wrong. Instead of viewing your husband as “taking the place of God” see him instead for what he is, God’s representative to you.
Look, lets say you work for a large corporation. I have used this example before, but lets say you work for Walmart. The CEO of Walmart doesn’t come to your store every day and give you a schedule and instruct you on how to do your job or maintain the store, instead he hires a regional manager to oversee a region of stores. That manager in turn hires store managers to run and maintain the store you work at. Your husband is like your store manager, he has been put in place, by God, to run and maintain what God has given him: A family.
When you have an issue or need as an employee of Walmart you don’t just call up the CEO and make requests of him. There’s a protocol in place and though he wouldn’t mind if you are corresponding with him it would be frustrating if you called him every time you had a problem when you are fully aware that he put someone in place to handle those issue for you. If you’re running out of supplies you dont call the CEO you talk to your manager and the manager handles it. If you have an issue with store policy you don’t call the CEO, you talk to your store manager. Ideally the store manager should be running the store with a focus on the vision the CEO has for his stores to be run, and, in the same way husbands should be running their families with a focus on the vision God has for families who are His to be run. The big difference is that while Walmart’s CEO may stop by once a year and check in on things and make sure everything running well God has said we will actually stand before Him to give account for what we do, but in His time, not ours.
Now imagine how irritated and frustrated your store manager would be if every time you had a gripe you went around his authority and called the CEO “because you can”. Your circumventing his authority and basically telling him you don’t respect him nor need him. That you dont need him because you can call the CEO is irrelevant when the CEO has told you, repeatedly, that you are to report to your store manager when you have issue. To add to the fire is the fact that the CEO has already said he will be paying the store a visit at an unannounced time for a check up, and that your store manager will be held accountable for bad practice at that time.
Christian ladies listen up: Its not just the world that is working to derail you in this. Modern Christianity is deeply mixed with feminism and most Christian women will tell you to submit to your husband – BUT NOT TOO MUCH! Don’t listen to what other women tell you, what pastors tell you or what books that are not the bible tell you! READ THE BIBLE AND DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU! Any person who instructs you in anything but obedience toward you husband is instructing you in rebellion! The bible is clear: Obey your husbands in every thing that does not go against God’s law. EVERY THING. Does your husband want you to wash the laundry with a certain type of laundry soap? Then do it! Does he want dinner done by the time he gets home from work? Then do it! Does he want you to embezzle money from your job? Nope! Gods law forbids stealing and to do so would cause you to sin against God.
Its not very complicated, really. The bible says EVERY THING, but also says not to commit sin against God. God gives us ten commandments that tell us what sin is, and then elaborates on some of those in the old testament. Unfortunately modern Christianity likes to muddle things up by concentrating on trying to create loopholes in the word of God rather than concentrating on what God says! I posted none too recently the fact that I found, in my wife’s bible study notes, notes that basically were meant to instruct wives on what to look for in their husbands to ensure they were being godly or possibly on what wives should be trying to lead their husbands into in their walk with the lord. This is sin! This is rebellion!
WIVES ARE NOT IN CHARGE! THEY ARE NOT TO “LEAD” THEIR HUSBANDS BUT TO BE A WITNESS TO HIM THROUGH THEIR SILENT SUBMISSION!
It sounds petty when you say it so bluntly, but these are the words of the bible!
Do not be fooled, ladies! Don’t be tricked! Your ears will be tickled and the words of the world will sound sweet and right, but they are not! Read for yourself and understand that the ways of God conflict with the ways of the world, but the ways of God are good and right and full of promise! They don’t cave to what we want! God loves us, but He doesn’t care about our opinion on sin! He will not make an exception simply because His word makes us feel uncomfortable! Your husband is not your son, he is not a child even if he acts like one. He has been given a position of authority by God, and even if he chooses not to utilize it properly he will be judged by it, just as you will be judged by your obedience to that authority. You will answer for YOU.
The truth is in there! Find it and live it!
UPDATE: AnnaMS points out something I originally intended to put into this post but forgot as I hurried to finish it.
The CEO example is not a perfect example of the relationship between God, Husband and Wife, and it isn’t really meant to be. Its meant to be a simple and quick example of the authority structure between the three and reflects what I commonly see where wives are taught that because they have access to God and the bible they have no reason to submit to their husbands. This submission is seen as idolatry as they are taught that doing so puts their husbands above or in place of God Himself when nothing is further from the truth.
The fact is that God expects all of His children, husbands and wives included, to speak to Him on a regular basis through prayer, whereas the CEO of a company would probably get exasperated pretty quickly if one of his employees was constantly contacting him. Thank God for His patience and grace, though, and that we can approach Him through prayer and petition, and make our grievances and praises known.
However, this does not in any way detract from the point I am trying to make: The authority structure I describe often on this blog is one that is put in place by God, and adhering to it DOES NOT IN ANY WAY MAKE AN IDOL OF A WOMANS HUSBAND OR MAKE HER HUSBAND A REPLACEMENT FOR GOD. Moses was not a replacement for God yet God was clear that he was Gods authority to the people of Israel and was to be obeyed and followed. Those who rose up against Moses because “…the glory of the Lord appeared in the Tabernacle of the Congregation before all the children of Israel.” (emphasis mine) were going to be killed by God for their insolence had Moses not intervened. In fact, God told Moses He would wipe out the entire nation and give Moses a greater and mightier nation!
Amazingly enough Dalrock and Boxer both posted similar content and questions a mere day after I did. Funny how these things pop up all around the same time, almost as if lead by some all knowing, all powerful force to point out a problem in the system. Dalrock’s post is in the text above while Boxers’ post can be found HERE.