No doubt many of you have seen the online fire that has been set by a post extolling the attractiveness of debt-free, tattoo-free virgins to Christian men. Apparently it has been all the rage for the past couple of days with Christians on one side and “Christians” on the other. I use Christian with quotation marks because any who claim to be a Christian but claim that God is grieved that we would follow His commandments or advice make me question their actually being a Christian.
Debt-free and tattoo free are nice suggestions, and great advice, but are by no means biblical commandments, though God looks down on being in debt. Virginity, however, doesn’t get off the hook so lightly.God may be no respecter of persons but what He does recognize “status”. He recognizes masters, teachers, husbands and priests. He recognizes the status difference between a nations native and an alien and, more to the point, He recognizes the status difference between virgin and wife.
I doubt I need to go into deep explanation here but in case you weren’t aware a virgin girl/woman is one who has never had sex and, thus, still has her hymen intact. That’s not to say that it could not have been ruptured by some physical activity or event aside from intercourse, but even if that were the case she has not been “known” by a man. In alignment with Gods law of marriage a man and woman become married when he penetrates her during sexual intercourse, tearing her hymen and taking her virginity. Her status has now changed from “virgin” to “wife”.
(In the event of a woman who is a widow the act of sex only creates marriage when both her and the man are in agreement that the act will bind her to him as a wife, as she is under no ones authority but her own.)
So why is the status of “virgin” so darn important? It is, at minimum, more important that another female Christian bloggers assertion that it is “a pile of horse manure”. In fact, that any Christian would consider anything God recommends as good practice (avoid debt) or commands (remain chaste until marriage) as horse manure makes me seriously question their assertion that they are a follower of Christ.
The fact of the matter is that a woman’s virginity has long been held as being very important for a number of reasons and that importance is not mans doing but Gods. What exactly does He say about a woman and her virginity?
13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
16 And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
Woah! That’s a mighty big deal and definitely more important than a pile of manure. So if a woman feigned being a virgin and duped a man into thinking he was about to become her husband, and was caught (there’s a reason the hymen bleeds when ruptured, people) then she would be stoned to death! And at the door of her fathers house no less! Why? Because if she’s not a virgin she’s some mans wife and she just committed adultery, a death penalty offense! If her now husband is wrong in his accusation then he just shot himself in the foot, losing out on money and being stuck with her for the rest of his life (remembering that the law of Moses allowed for divorce, which would now be removed from his list of options).
Let us continue:
22 If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.
That’s a pretty steep price to pay for sleeping around. So how does a man or woman know if they are married or not? Oh yeah, their virginity! If the man who took her virginity is still alive or she does not have a certificate of divorce she is still married and this scenario is adultery. In the earlier example no man is found to be her husband, so the woman dies for her adulterous behavior.
23 If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;
24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour’s wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.
In this scenario the virgin is simply betrothed to a man in order to be married and, even with her virginity, she dies because she has given away what is not hers to give away. That’s right, her virginity belongs to the man she is betrothed to! The man in the situation has taken that which belongs to another man and he gets to die as well. This is not a case of rape because the woman didn’t “cry out” for fight back, this was mutual.
25 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die.
26 But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter:
27 For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.
In this situation the woman is raped and her virginity is stolen from her and from the man it is promised to. Because she cried out and resisted but was overpowered the rapist is treated as a murder and put to death, but the law leverages no punishment on the woman because she has had a crime committed against her. Now, what happens after that with regards to her betrothal is not mentioned, and I suppose its up to the one to whom she was betrothed.
28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
Here is a common scenario of a virgin girl willfully offering herself to a man, whether it be a steady boyfriend or a studly chad from the local blacksmiths, she is enamored with him enough to sleep with him and loses her virginity to him. Guess what: If they get caught they are recognized as now being married! This doesn’t mean that they aren’t married if they DON’T get caught, because God still sees them now as married and one flesh, but not getting caught means no one KNOWS they are married, which leads back to the very first example: The girl defrauding a potential husband who thinks he’s getting married to a virgin bride!
Well, Snapps, this is all OT stuff, man, and we don’t have to think about that mess because OT is old school law, man. We’re all about grace and NT. NT ROCKS! So miss me with that OT!
WRONG! This is not old testament law for the priests or law for the nation of Israel, this is the law concerning how God made things to work. Do we consider incest wrong because it was considered wrong back in the OT day, but hey, today in “modern society” (say that in your Thurston Howell voice) we are accepting of incest so we can ignore those words written in the old testament? Absolutely not! The law against incest and bestiality and adultery were written so we know what God considers offensive! To tell us what sin is! This is different than, say, the law of the avenger of blood, which was a law for the nation of Israel allowing a blood relative to hunt down and kill someone who caused the death of someone in his family. Or the law of the cities of refuge, in which the accused could seek shelter from the avenger of blood until evidence could be presented and a judgement made as to whether or not they were innocent of murder. Its also different than the paragraphs of laws meant only for those of the holy priesthood so that they would remain clean and holy! Those laws were not intended for the average citizen of Israel! These laws, though, Gods moral laws, tell us the mind of God, help us understand him and prevent us from offending Him with sin!
This has been a long post, I know, but I think it is very dangerous and foolish for any Christian or “Christian” to put for that virginity amounts to nothing or, at worst, amounts to a pile of horse manure. JUST BECAUSE YOU TREATED YOUR VIRGINITY LIKE A PILE OF HORSE MANURE DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS IMPORTANT IN GODS EYES OR THE EYES OF CHRISTIANS!
And that, really, is the reason behind the rage against a woman blogger pointing out that virginity is highly prized amongst Christian men.