My wife is currently out of state, tending to her mother who was diagnosed with cancer. It’s a sad state of affairs, as she already has tons of medical issues and chemo along with other treatments will likely be a two edged sword, doing both harm and good. Prayers for her, and my wife, would be much appreciated.
That being said, I was searching earlier today for some paper in which to write my grocery list when I happened upon some of my wife’s bible study notes. Now, I don’t know if these are group bible study notes from the study she attends weekly or if these are notes she took on her own, but something about them was quite troubling:
They were all about men!
Next to each scripture was a little note such as “husbands listen to wives wisdom”, “knowledge creates spiritually mature men” and “why men are devoted to their wives in the Lord”. This pinpoints one of the issues with modern women in the church, and the way the modern church teaches its women. What they are learning is this:
I am to submit to my husbands leadership. Now let me show you how to lead me right!
At the same time the church teaches:
Women, submit unto your husbands leadership! Men, your wife will show you how to lead her!
Can you even imagine this type of thinking being applied in any other leadership relationship out there? I’m sure there have got to be plenty of TV shows such as The Office and others that are similar that mock the absurdity of letting those who are to be lead being given free reign to determine HOW they should be lead!
The bible gives PLENTY of input on how masters should treat servants, how governments should treat peoples, how parents should treat children and how husbands should treat wives. No where in the scripture is it advised that parents take into account their children’s hearts and how they want to be lead! It says to “beat them, for they will not die!”, while at the same time it instructs parents not to “exasperate” them, but to train them up in the ways of the Lord! Can a parent mold how they train their child based on that child’s temperament and understanding? Sure! Does it instruct those parents to “let your children guide you with their hearts so that you will know how to lead them?” Instead we get:
Isaiah 3:12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
It seems to me like a lot of Christian women cannot make an intelligent determination on what a Christian and non-Christian man looks like. A woman who’s husband is not a believer may have to fear her husbands heavy hand and unwise decisions because he is not a believer. He has no interest in doing those things that please the Lord. However, the word tells us that this woman is a witness to her unsaved husband by her silent submission, even through abuse!
A woman who’s husband is a believer HAS NO RIGHT TO APPLY THIS LINE OF THINKING TO HER HUSBAND AND SHOULD NOT BE TRYING TO MOLD HIM INTO THE LEADER SHE WANTS HIM TO BE! If her husband has committed his life to Christ then she should be MORE THAN WILLING to submit to him as she is instructed to do by God, not because her husband is perfect or always makes the right decision, but because it pleases God and is instructed to her BY HIM!
If you are a Christian woman who is doing this YOU ARE USURPING NOT ONLY YOUR HUSBANDS ROLE BUT CHRISTS AS WELL!
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Ask yourself if this is a role your really itching to take on: from Christ! Do you really think things will go well for you if this is your plan?
I don’t know if I will approach my wife about this considering the issues she is dealing with right now, but I feel it is going to be necessary, not only for our marriage, but for her spiritual life as well. This is a dangerous place to be, standing in the way of Christ and for what? Because you are uncomfortable? Because it makes you nervous when your husband makes a decision without you? Or it makes you mad that he has put his foot down and done something in opposition to your “wisdom”? Maybe he had to tell you to “sit down and shut up” when you were mouthing off about something you had no knowledge of or any right to speak on.
In the same manner the church has stood up and not-so-kindly asked Christ to step aside, as it is THE WOMEN who will show the men how to lead! Not by the word of God but by THEIR HEARTS ©! Well of course, the bible will be in there, but it will only be used as a reference guide and if the scriptures don’t make our ladies hearts go all a flutter then they will be summarily ignored or “slightly modified” so as to make them WONDERFUL and EMPOWERING, so that our ladies can lead from the rear!
It’s about as submissive as being pulled along in a cart by a donkey.
Sure, your going wherever the donkey goes, but he’s only going to go the direction your pulling the reins.
Funny how Christian women are so willing to “suffer for Christ”, except when that suffering comes from their husbands, who can never be used by God for anything other than providing the next paycheck.
Sorry to hear about your MIL’s illness. Prayer.
I would not be surprised if your suspicious are true.
A talk with the wife is in order, and possibly with your church’s pastors and elders as well. You should prepare a few things to say in advance.
Dalrock has many posts, including his latest, describing how the post modern church is teaching an inverted hierarchy of headship. Reading a few of his posts on this subject should supplement your coverage of the issue.
Thanks for the prayer, it is much appreciated.
That would be fine except I am not currently attending a church, I left the last one because of the things they were teaching my wife! She refused to follow, but this study isn’t even at her church, its at another one her friend invited her to. Even then I voiced my barring her from attending this study and she ignored that as well!
You can see the posts regarding these here:
https://snappertrx.wordpress.com/2016/09/27/meeting-with-my-pastors-i
https://snappertrx.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/meeting-with-my-pastors-i-viii
https://snappertrx.wordpress.com/2016/10/14/meeting-with-my-pastors-ii
https://snappertrx.wordpress.com/2017/06/26/meeting-with-my-pastors-iii
And one about a bible study AT the church I left:
https://snappertrx.wordpress.com/2017/09/13/scriptural-conflicts/
very sad, Snapper. a woman’s study should be focused on her, not on men 😦
Praying for you, brother.
I don’t know your denominational leanings, but if you want one that takes the Word as written to be the standard for the word as preached, the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America, NOT to be confused with the Presbyterian “Church”, USA [PC-USA]) isn’t a bad place to start looking.
Thanks, prayer is always appreciated. I’m very tempted to just start a home study with some local dudes, but finding local dudes who wont lynch mob me could be a problem. 😁
I strongly recommend starting your own ekklesia or finding someone who has. Just put the word out there to people you know what you are looking for and maybe you’ll be surprised to find a lot of this going on around you. I live in the high desert of southern California and that is what happened for me and my wife. My group started with just a guy and his wife and is now 10 strong, so maybe you just need to find one guy to start yourself. Apperently there is a bit of steam going for groups that study the word like Bereans, although this may only be people of the Messianic/Hebrew community. My group hasn’t lynched me yet, and they even know we believe polygyny is a valid marriage option. If you happen to live near us or Klamath Falls Oregon then send me an email and you can vet me to see if we should fellowship.
Either way, I hope and pray you find something that can build you up and continue to sharpen you. Shalom.
I’ve considered this, but I’m afraid I might be considered the de facto “leader” of a group if I put out the call and I, at the moment, am not qualified to be a leader in such things, as my home is not really in order. The continued issues with my wife and daughter put me in a bad position. I don’t really know if putting out the call and assembling some guys for study would necessarily be a “church”, but by default someone has to lead said group, and I don’t think I am biblically qualified. Still mulling over it, as I don’t see anyone else standing up to call for some good old fashion bible study, and it is much needed. Thanks for the prayers.