I haven’t posted anything really interesting in a while, but a recent post by someone on Facebook and some reading over at Dalrock’s page have got me thinking.
The post was an animated gif that read the following:
“Marriage is till death do us part, not till you get tired of trying.”
“Men, honor your marriage and love your wife as Christ loved the church! Can I get an AMEN?!”
This post was made by the page Man up Gods Way.
I did a quick search on the term ‘Woman Up” and all I got were a bunch of feminist empowerment sites on how to push women further into the workplace, as well as some hits on a song that goes by this name.
A quick search on divorce statistics provided some interesting stuff, like the fact that in the 70’s, when divorce started to really take off, women were responsible for initiating 75% of divorces, with that ramping down, eventually, to a modes 63-68%. That’s right, roughly two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women, not men.
Why then are men targeted by other men of the church to stick to their marriages, yet there is no accompanying push for women? Why are men consistently told they are missing the mark in their marriages by not “loving their wives as Christ loved the church”, yet there is no battle cry for women to “obey your husbands as the church does Christ”? When a friend of mine had his wife cheated on him there was a push by friends and family for her to stop what she was doing, but in the aftermath the word from pastors and counselors to him was “well what did you do wrong?”. This man tried desperately to hold his marriage together and, though successful, he has been told for years that he somehow contributed to his wife making up her mind to run off with another man. Not only did he contribute, but that his shortcomings (of which no one could point out, exactly. They had a house, he had a job, they always had food on the table, clothing on their bodies and a car to drive around in.) were the primary impetus for her leaving!
I don’t know, maybe I spend to much time learning and reading unpopular stuff, but I haven’t even tried to find a new church yet after the debacle with our last one because I seriously don’t know of any church that teaches proper headship of husbands over their wives, or that actually does anything to strengthen the men in their congregation. After learning about the importance of a husband being a proper ‘ruler’ over his home I don’t know if I want to attend a church that doesn’t make this a top priority. An ‘egalitarian’ church or even, now, a ‘Christo-feminist’ church would drive me insane, though I know better than to set foot in any place that proclaims that women are superior to men, spiritually or otherwise, simply because that is 100% against scripture.
If the church is so interested in protecting marriages from divorce they should first address the 2/3’s majority that is initiating the process, and likely NOT for cheating or physical abuse. In fact, my friends wife’s reason for attempting to ditch on him? The other CHRISTIAN guy had more money and was more into the things she was into than her husband. Instead of telling her she should have ‘conformed to her husband as the church conforms to christ’ they told her husband that he needed to pay more attention to his wife, and believe me, he wasn’t lacking in that department. I mean, he wasn’t at her side 24/7, but beyond one night a week for gaming he was pretty much around without fail.
The church needs to get its head out of the sand and start addressing some of the real root causes of the divorce crisis in the church, and if they are going after men they are DEFINITELY barking up the wrong tree.