Are you a biblically submissive wife?

Many Christian women would claim they, in fact, ARE submissive and obedient to their husbands, despite what their husbands might think or say. Little do they know that there is a simple test that can be done to help determine, with 100% accuracy, if you are, in fact, a biblically submissive wife.

Simply ask yourself this question:

“Do I do what my husband tells me to do, when he tells me to do it?”

A yes answer means you are a biblically submissive wife! Congrats!

A no answer or an answer that involves a lot of rules and regulations that must be personally met before you do what your told means you are not a biblically submissive wife.

Are you mad? You can be if you want, but I didn’t write the biblical standard:

Ephesians 5:21-23

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Who are women to submit to? Their husbands. How are they to submit to them? As unto the Lord. The example set is the church’s submission to Christ. How does the church submit to Christ? Well, if its an actual, God-fearing Christian church then they submit to Him in everything, understanding that Gods will is perfect and His commandments are meant to be good for us. Now, husbands aren’t God, of course, but Gods commandment for wives to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Him is meant to be good. If you have issue with this then you question the wisdom and perfection of God Himself. You can claim this is not true, but if you claim something is perfect except for X, then you claim something is perfect but do not believe it. There cannot be an exception for something you claim is perfect.

Likewise a Christian wife who proclaims that she loves God and believes He is good and perfect lies when she says she cannot submit to her husband for whatever reason. You deny the perfection and wisdom of God! Is this really where you want to be? Sure your husband makes mistakes and may even blatantly decide to do something stupid, but do you think that God is not aware of what is happening? Is God omnipresent and omniscient except for where your husband is concerned?

Personally I don’t see anything wrong with a wife asking questions about something she has been asked to do by her husband, but she should be ready to accept an answer of “because I said” and complete the task. As I have stated before, it may be wise for a man to consult his wife over an issue, but that is really up to him and varies from woman to woman and is not a requirement. If you can show me a scripture that makes it a sin or requires a husband to consult his wife over a decision or action then I will gladly look over it and pray about it because, to date, I have not seen one.

Modern women ‘teachers’, counselors, family members and friends who preach anything but what the bible says are preaching wrong gospel. Read the preceding verses again. Look them up and read the whole chapter, from start to finish! There are no qualifiers, no exceptions, no ifs, ands or buts. Any ‘Christian’ woman that instructs another Christian woman to do anything but submit to her husband instructs her to sin.

The ONLY exception to this could be if a husband asked his wife to outright go against Gods direct commandments (ie: shall not bear false witness, shall not murder, shall not steal, shall have no other gods before me, etc.). I know some others feel that this is not the case and that a wife should obey even if her husband commands her to do these things, but I cannot say that, at this moment, I can agree. A wife should not:

  • Obey to commit murder (of another person or abortion)
  • Obey to bear false witness against another
  • Obey to bow down before false gods/idols
  • Obey to commit adultery with another mans wife or with another man

However, a woman with a Christian husband should have little to worry about, as I don’t see 99.9% of Christian husbands asking their wives to do any of these things. If you are a wife who accepted Christ and your husband is still a non-believer then, though you are bound to submit to your husband, I do not believe, at this time, you would be required to submit to him in these cases. Perhaps it would be wise to suggest an alternative method to completing the task or helping him achieve his goal that would not cause you to sin against God. I may be wrong in this, as scripture instructs:

Ephesians 5: 23-25

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

The question boils down to, “What does EVERYTHING mean?”. God commanded Abraham to kill his own son in sacrifice and Abraham obeyed. He commanded the children of Israel to kill every man, woman and child of their enemies, even the animals. To me that is obedience to EVERYTHING, but in both instances the ones being commanded remembered that God was in control and that His commandments were good, even if they seemed to not make sense to the human mind.

This, however, leads into another question altogether – one I am not prepared to discuss on this blog at the moment, but one that has been rolling around in my head for some time. Until I can pray about, fast about and answer the question, I would rather not entertain it and the preceding exception will apply, to me, at least.

Remember, in the end you aren’t going to be answering to feminists, friends, your husband or even yourself – you will be answering to the one who created you – God. No other standard matters except the one set forth by Him. Can you honestly look at yourself and say that you even try to meet the standard? We are human, and we all fail, but there is a difference between trying and failing, and being outright disobedient because we don’t like the way the standard makes us feel. Despite what some people might teach, Gods word does not care about time periods or culture – what pleased Him two thousand years ago pleases Him now and what offended him two thousand years ago offends Him now. Unless something in the bible directly indicates God has changed His mind on something then it would be wise to assume He has not changed His mind.

It would be wise to remember this when arguing about how much different the culture of biblical times was opposed to modern culture. Though culture has changed drastically, our God has not.



Author: SnapperTrx

Just a guy on the internet.

26 thoughts on “Are you a biblically submissive wife?”

  1. This reminds me of BGR’s post why unity in marriage has more to do with the wife. It’s always been strange to me that it was so obviously easier for a wife to make the marriage work, than for a willing husband (which maybe translates to “submissive husband?”).

    Marriage just works so much better when this is by default and understood, and you’re right, it has nothing to do with the old culture contrasted to the new modern day culture. It’s just how God designed marriage.

    1. I agree this is a great post as well. It is that exception rule for violating God’s commands that seems to be the sticky one sometimes.

      I have run into an interesting comment thread on my unity post that is basically boils down to “What if your husband commands you NOT to submit to him.” Should a wife submit to her husband’s command not to submit?

      Basically what if you as Christian wife wake up one day and find out you are married to a Christian feminist husband. So he takes advantage of the Bible’s call for you to submit to him and tells you to “be your own person, do your own thing, argue with me in public in front of the kids and others. I command you not to do things just to make me happy and do not submit me to me. If you I see you are doing things just to please me or submit to me I will regard that as disrespectful.”

      I believe the answer to this is easy and you can see it in my comments there. But just thought it was interesting regarding the exception to submission.

      1. That is so funny Larry… I think it’s something the crazy women that follow these blogs would come up with (and many say that their husbands “hated” when they acted submissive). They totally miss the whole point that it’s all tailored to YOUR husband and it’s really just being “respectful” of what he wants, and not a “nasty woman.” They think being submissive means having no brain, ideas, thoughts, or interesting conversation – basically being like a “Stepford wife” (I’ve seen them say this!) so they’ve just got the whole thing completely backward. And don’t understand biblical principles at all – and they don’t want to understand it either. They’ll purposefully twist anything you say to mean what they want it to mean (Stepford wife).

        What’s funny to me is how angry they are that there are women like us out there. They attack us ruthlessly online and try to ruin our real lives or even go after our husbands… all becasue we’re living biblically. Liberal feminists are tolerant of almost anything, except Christianity. It’s so nutty.

      2. Stephanie, I am the wife BGR is referring to but I agree with what I think you are saying, about tailoring it to my husband. And I would argue that my husband was not commanding me not to submit to him, he was allowing me to make a decision on something after giving me his counsel. I’d encourage you to check out the thread. I think Larry and I would both welcome your feedback and I don’t want to derail Snappers post.

    1. Yikes it posted before I was done!

      I didn’t know that he was talking about you or your husband… but I have definitely seen very feminist women using that argument. But I didn’t see the comments you’re talking about… you don’t sound at all like the women who hate submission and say their husbands hated it when they tried it 🙂

  2. Great Post, Snapper. You may remember from my earlier posts on BGR that I was a “converted” feminist–from a real estate office, to a homemaker. Often, when my family or old friends see me after I changed my outfits, shoes, and hair for my husband, I get the familiar questions: What if he told you to shave your head? What if he told you to wear rubber cat woman outfit, etc etc.

    I smile and tell them I would do whatever he asked! Why? Because I am confident that he loves me as Christ loves the Church. And Christ would never do anything to humiliate or harm the Church.

    While it is weird to always be the mom in dresses, heels, and perfect makeup at the school field trip to the zoo, I have the confidence that I am his and that he loves me by providing for me and our children. The world may not always understand.

    1. I think this is where even most Christian women start to lose it, is that they concentrate on “Is what my husband asked me to do good” instead of “Is what God told me to do good”. God is not blind to the plight of women who’s husbands make poor decisions, but He has promised heavenly rewards for earthly obedience to His word. He says be obedient to your husband, and to do so is good! We obey Gods commandments not because they promise us anything on this earth – in fact, they promise us trouble on this earth! Jesus said that if they despised Him they will despise us for following Him! Instead we look forward toward our heavenly rewards and towards our being in heaven with Him! Paul tells us that he counts all earthly gains as rubbish in comparison to what he has gained through Christ Jesus – what do Christian women want to hold on to that will garner them more than that? Freedom? Hardly. You will be the servant of someone or some thing! Best to choose Christ! Identity? What should our identity be but one who follows Christ? What other identity will gain you a single thing in heaven? Notoriety? What do these women want to be known for? I would think that a God fearing mother and wife will be remembered in heaven after all the knowledge and memory of earth has passed away! It boggles the mind!

      It may be weird to be the wife who is being obedient to her husband in EVERYTHING, including dress, but like I have seen on other blogs with regards to wives wearing head coverings in the church – it makes the a point of interest, but it offers a great opportunity to share with other women the word and commandments of God in a world and a church where obedience to ones husband is seen as a weakness, and not a strength.

      Also, my wife seems to have no trouble with her rubber cat suit. Just sayin…. 😀

      1. I didn’t mean to imply that the cat suit does not have its special time and place 🙂 🙂 🙂

        You raise a good point. When I am called to be different or look or dress differently from the other school moms, it does give me an opportunity to talk about Christ and how Christ loves us. It totally abolishes their fear/argument that I wear what I am told “because my mean husband makes me” into I get to be the helpmate of the one God intended and we are a perfect team,,,and he still swoons when I walk into church or a meeting 🙂 🙂 🙂

      2. Yes, time and place are key!

        But that is the problem, even Christian women are taught to be selfish nowadays. The idea of being your husbands helpmeet is piled on with restrictions, reservations and requirements because “ME” has to come first!

        Don’t get married at 20 years old, go out and find yourself first! Spend your best years on something else, not a husband!

        Don’t dress the way your husband wants, its uncomfortable or takes too much work!

        Don’t have sex the way your husband wants, its too tiring and he hasn’t done enough to deserve THAT!

        Don’t OBEY your husband, what are you some kind of slave, doormat?

        But don’t forget to fuss when you want a new car and you will ONLY SETTLE FOR THE ONE YOU WANT!

        And don’t forget to nag him that your current purse is ripping and you couldn’t POSSIBLY use one of the old ones you have stashed away, you need a new one!

        And don’t forget to remind him of his shortcomings and failures in front of his friends and family, we wouldn’t want him getting too big headed.

        And this is just from Christian women. It’s pretty sad, and personally, I don’t know a way to break the cycle. Older women are cut from the original mold, so they do nothing to train the younger women who do nothing to train the new generation. And since modern Christian women are told they can ignore their husbands if they don’t feel they are reading/teaching scripture correctly (see my issues with my previous pastor and my wife), they continue on in rebellion and sin.

  3. The subject of this post has really had me thinking about women and others teaching women and whether or not its a good idea or if it is even supported in scripture. For every woman teaching good, biblical submission there are literally hundreds who teach anything but. I could read the plain, simple text of Ephesians 5 to my wife and she would argue about what it “really means” because her head has been filled with so many other “teachers” “interpreting” the verses to her. She, in turn, has “interpreted” said verses to other ladies (including my daughter) when scripture clearly says that women should be seeking answers to biblical questions from their husbands, not from friends, relatives or even pastors. If we remember that Gods word says what it says for a reason and we trust Gods word is good then we have to trust that there is a purpose behind Him saying that older women should not be teachers of scripture, but rather:

    “that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
    (Titus 2:4-5)

    These things can be taught without teaching scripture (which is different from SHARING scripture) in the same manner a pastor or preacher would.

    This has been on my heart and mind lately, and, though at the moment I cannot say I support it 100%, I am going to be spending some serious time on it after the new year. I understand it may be offensive even to some of the more biblically submissive women out there, but my goal is to seek the truth and direction of Gods word. What I find may not affect you at all, but my hope is that it will cause any who read it to consider it, pray about it and seek the truth as well.

    1. There are some Christian organizations (home school organizations) in the US that still promote the traditional wife and family and actively teach their children and daughters to emulate that practice. All hope is not lost

  4. email me, if you wish, and I can give you some references and recommendations for some organizations which have ways to connect with other likeminded people

  5. Snapper, I agree with how frustrating it is to have SO MANY women feel confident in their own interpretations that are far more secular than anything close to biblical… it amazes me how disrespectful some of the “Christian” advice can be when I see it.

    I get the danger of women teaching Scripture, but I think it usually applies to when they’re outside a male spiritual authority figure. I’ve personally gained a ton from female Bible teachers leading Bible studies or reading their books etc. Even learned a ton from my mom… but the interesting thing is that when they taught something wrong – I was usually able to see it and know almost immediately it wasn’t biblical and was a little (or sometimes a lot!) disturbed by it.

    I was able to perceive that my mom didn’t have real respect towards my dad even at a young age. I was able to learn from that different critical points (like I vowed to myself that I’d marry a man who would be the REAL spiritual leader of our family – not a pretend one where the wife really controls or tries to control it… and I also vowed that I’d submit to him making decisions ultimately for our family, after watching my mom fail in that). So even though I thought my mom was wise and taught me millions of great lessons on how to be a good wife in other ways, it was easy to see where she was also wrong on things.

    I’ve come across that same notion of being able to see when a women is not promoting the right thing even with popular Christian Bible study leaders like Beth Moore. Not that long ago, I did a Bible study she created on Esther, and I was very disappointed on her take of how Vashti reacted to her huband the King Xerxes. I wrote a long thing about it on Dalrock’s back then, and he agreed with me and pointed me to a conversation where they’d discussed that same topic (Vashti’s response) before and let me know I was right on.

    It was pretty shocking to me though, that someone so popular would get it THAT wrong. 😦 But if I was able to see these things and understand when a female teacher (or even mother) is off, I’m sure other women are able to do that as well….?

    I don’t know though. I understand how dangerous that is for women to be led astray or to flat out disrespect their husbands because they think they’re somehow justified by a female teacher’s wrong opinion. For me, my husband is totally ok with me writing about Scripture for women, and he looks over those posts now to make sure I’m writing things he’d agree with.

    1. “It was pretty shocking to me though, that someone so popular would get it THAT wrong. But if I was able to see these things and understand when a female teacher (or even mother) is off, I’m sure other women are able to do that as well….? ”

      In my experience – no. There are literally thousands upon thousands of women who follow Beth Moore regardless of how wrong some of her teaching is. I have asked the question on this very blog several times: If women have the same bible I have then why is this even an issue? They read the same words I read, so why are they so rebellious and disrespectful? The only answer I can come up with is that they have determined in their hearts that they do not like those words, so they seek out others who will validate a different “interpretation” so they can FEEL they are being obedient to the Word without actually BEING obedient. And its not just the women, plenty of men do the same thing too, giving up the authority and responsibility God has tasked them with to follow a “softer, gentler” gospel that doesn’t task them with doing so much.

      As I said, my goal is to determine what scripture says. Paul says women are not permitted to teach scripture via 1 Tim 2:12, but to learn. It doesn’t say “not permitted to teach in the capacity of a pastor”, or “only permitted to teach the children or other women”, but very plainly says “I do not permit a woman to teach….”. Women are instructed to be silent in the church and to ask their husbands if they have questions regarding scripture. Older women are encouraged to teach the younger women a list of things that don’t necessarily require scripture to learn (though it helps). SCRIPTURALLY SPEAKING, I don’t see anything that supports women teaching other women scripture in an interpretive manner. And having seen some of the different “interpretations” out there I can see why He might have done so!

      Also lets look at the practices of biblical times. Were women allowed to teach? Were they allowed to even own or read from the holy texts? Did Jesus condemn this practice or suggest that it change?

      Anyhow, I am getting far ahead of myself. I will be doing some studying on the subject after the first of the year in hopes of coming to a better understanding. In my own mind the commandment for women to learn from their own husbands and not from others is for a number of reasons, but the two most poignant are that it keeps the understanding of scripture between husbands and wives uniform, which is very, very important (just look at my situation for an example of WHY that’s important) and it keeps women from being lead astray by false doctrine. Not to say that men cannot be lead astray, but I think its more difficult for a man to be lead astray once he has been set in his understanding of something.

      Ill keep the blog posted with my thoughts and discoveries.

      1. “Also lets look at the practices of biblical times. Were women allowed to teach? Were they allowed to even own or read from the holy texts? Did Jesus condemn this practice or suggest that it change?”

        I don’t know… to me that’s getting scarily into Satanic thinking – to think women are so easily led astray that they should not even be allowed to own or read a Bible. The Muslims believe things very similar to that, and their faith is filled with Satanic influences regarding what they believe about women and children.

        When Dalrock started writing on this subject and commenters started saying things like that – that according to Scripture, women probably shouldn’t even be teaching their own children from the Bible, it reminded me exactly of Satanic Islam. That’s basically what they believe about their women – that they should not be able to even teach their own children. They also believe that women have no rights, are sometimes even of less value than a dog – and believe that the majority of people in hell are women, so they hate them for this and justify abusing them/oppressing them because of these things in their scriptures.

        I’m sure you’re not trying to go that far with it, but it is definitely headed down that road. And you have to ask yourself where would it stop? Jesus didn’t condemn women reading or teaching – Paul was the only one who spoke out what his personal opinion was for women over a church. Their churches back then were held in houses for a community of neighbors to gather. So a woman standing up to teach would have been definitely out of place. I think Dalrock is completely confused and taking it farther than what Paul meant. If a woman can’t even be trusted to read a Bible for herself to learn more about God’s love for her, if a mother cannot even teach her own children what the Bible is saying in the morning or at bedtime, it looks like it takes away from her being her own soul and having her own relationship with God almost completely. Kind of like how the Catholic church only had it’s masses in Latin for so long and at one time in history, prevented the congregations from even being allowed to have their own Bibles. It’s very interesting that you, Dalrock and others are going down a specific tangent that Islam is obsessed with and which is Satanic – devaluing of women and their ability to commune with God. 😦

      2. I don’t think there is anything satanic about it. The bible is pretty clear where it stands on Gods view of women, not that they are less than a man, but that the sin of Eve has made women subject to things that men are not.

        – The punishment Eve suffers in Genesis 3 puts her under the rule of a man (her husband).
        – Paul says that women should cover their heads during prayer as a sign of submission, not men. He says it is shameful for men to cover their heads during prayer.
        – Paul says that the head of every man is Christ, but the head of every woman is man (again, placed under the rule of).
        – Paul says that man is the glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.
        – In the book of Numbers husbands and fathers are given the ability to negate any promise or vow a woman makes, even to negate marriage!
        – Paul says that women should not teach or have authority over a man because it was the woman that was deceived, and not the man.

        God does not say that men are less than women, but it seems plainly clear that men are esteemed more than women, yet both are loved the same. That should come as no shock, as Gods chosen people, the jews, are esteemed above all the other nations of the world, yet God loves us all and Jesus died for the sins of all mankind. No other nation on the planet receives the esteem Israel does directly from God.

        In like manner men are esteemed more highly because of the structure of creation (man was made first, then woman from man) and because of the sin of Eve.

        Now this is why I need to stop going on about this subject in the comments because it really is bigger than all of this. There is a difference between reading and sharing scripture (as in, with your kids or with friends and the lost) and espousing the meaning of scripture, or “interpreting” scripture. Without being able to go into more detail here I can see where you may start to look at what I have previously said and go exactly where you went. After the first of the year I will have some time to sit and study, pray and fast, and put more detailed posts on what I have said.

        Now I want to be really clear here – I am not saying this is my belief in what the scripture teaches, but I am saying that given the wealth of scripture on the subject of women teaching, some scientifically collected data and my own personal experience lately it has really been weighing heavily on my mind. However, I don’t want to just think it over and decide “well women shouldn’t be teaching the bible at all”, I want to reach the truth IN scripture. Bear with me, if you can. Feel free to ask questions and make remarks, as they will help me in my thought process. I appreciate everyone who posts on my blog in a sensible and non-trollish manner because you all help me in my walk without even trying.


    1. Sure thing. I am amazed by how many Christian women feel that they can be “too submissive” when the bible clearly states how submissive they should be – completely. I could probably write a few more paragraphs on the subject, and I am actually planning on doing some pretty heavy stuff on the blog in the near future, feel free to chime in.

      1. Would it be ideal, from what you understand, that we should not read the Bible ourselves, but allow our husbands to wash us in the word, as the Bible instructs our husbands to do?

        A ns only learn from a male pastor or our husbands?

        And, if we have a question about something we hear in a sermon, not to discuss it with our friends, but only to discuss it with our husbands? As Paul indicates?

        It seems so simple and straightforward as the Bible teaches, but doing so would eliminate multimillion dollar women’s “ministries”

      2. I really don’t have an answer for this right now. At face value i would say that a woman should be fine reading her bible and just asking her husband for direction on things she doesn’t understand. After all, that’s kind of what Paul was getting at. Women were hearing the word from teachers other than their husbands (as far as I can tell), but they were instructed to ask questions at home from the one in authority over them – their husbands. At the same time, whenever I think about what is a good guideline for something I try to think about how it was in the time of Jesus, and did he say anything to change it. Women were not allowed to handle the holy books in the time of Jesus, and I don’t see him making any proclamation to change this, or to chide the men for preventing their wives from reading the word. This will actually be addressed in another post I am working on.

        I guess my best answer now would be to read the word and, if possible, ask your husband for direction on things you don’t understand. If you can’t ask, pray that the holy spirit guide you to a right understanding, and don’t try to over think things. Some scripture should be understood to mean what it says (literal), while some is open to interpretation (figurative or poetic), but the truth is the truth is the truth, and it will not change, though we may arrive at it a little differently than someone else. There is no “your truth, my truth”.

        My post will be made in a week or so, after some study and fasting. This is very important to me, and I want to make sure I am seeking out and seeing the truth. I appreciate all the input on all the subjects I blog about. Civil discourse is in short supply online, and I am very happy to see that EVERYONE who has ever commented on the blog has been civil, even in disagreement. Thanks!

  6. A lot of wives think they are submissive because they naturally agree with 80% of what their husbands ask. But for the other 20% of topics they don’t agree with, they will still hamsterfacture all kinds of excuses and rationalizations to avoid trusting their husband. They don’t seem to understand that being submissive in that 20% of disagreement is what determines whether they are truly submissive or not.
    For a similar example, a person cannot claim to be faithful if they are only faithful for 51 weeks a year. That one week affair makes him/her an adulterer by definition.
    It helps to point this out during an argument.

    1. It helps to point this out during an argument.

      That would still require the person you are arguing with to think logically, which often seems not to be the case when speaking with women, though there are some that visit around here that buck that trend and are actually quite enjoyable to speak with.

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