So I met with pastor B last night to tell him about us leaving the church. Now, understand that all the people in the church are dear to my family and they are all our friends. In such a small congregation, it’s difficult not to become friends with everyone, so my biggest fear here was losing B’s friendship. He’s a pretty cool guy and I still wanted to be able to help him and the church out during their yearly push to help provide some of the less fortunate in town with some food, clothing and prayer, as well as some of the other outreaches they do.
Things went well. I explained to him that the issues I had with his previous messages are not the entire reason why I was leaving, but that my studying of the word and my understanding has lead me in a different direction. I was very clear that I believed 100% that the bible prohibited women from standing in as the pastor, even for a night, but he still would not agree with that. He continued to insist that the words of Paul were intended ONLY for the church at Corinth, and that they were written only because the culture of the day. He said that the ladies of the church in Corinth were new to the whole “church thing” because women had previously been restricted from the scripture AND the temple, so they didn’t know how to act. This still didn’t make sense to me because that assumes the church in Corinth was the only church allowing women, what about all the other churches breaking the culture of the day and allowing women in? Wouldn’t they need the same instruction?
In talking I was able to dip slightly into some red pill truths with him as well. I explained that, as a natural “tough guy” he really didn’t need to rely on the words of the bible for his wife to submit to him – she was doing that well before he got saved. Because of this he didn’t need to reinforce scripture calling on her to submit because she naturally submitted to him because of his masculinity, and because of that he really cannot comprehend what someone like myself has to go through – things just work for him. He agreed and we were able to talk a little more about the fading of masculinity in the church and where both men and women are failing both in taking back the responsibility of authority and in submitting as the word commands.
Overall things went well. B told me that he felt if I had prayed and fasted about the issue and I felt God was leading me somewhere else he certainly wouldn’t be the one to try and stop me. We agreed that we have a different understanding of the words regarding the prohibitions against women in the church, but we agreed to continue to pray and seek wisdom on the subject. We are still good friends and my family will still be helping out during the Christmas season with assembling and passing out goods for needy families, as well as helping reach out to the less fortunate during the year. This will remain until we find another home church, and even then we may continue to help out where we can. As I have said in the past, its a very small church, but they do a lot more than some of the larger churches in the area when it comes to getting down into the trenches and spreading the gospel to others.
Unfortunately my wife and I have not spoken since we had our conversation about leaving, which has been about a week. She has no interest in talking to me and, personally, she has burned up my affections. I don’t much care to talk to her right now, what good would it do? After hearing for so long that my authority and leadership is not needed because she can think for herself and she will do whatever she wants why would I continue to waste words? As I said before it is a case of both rebellion and pride. She cannot submit to me, and thus does not submit to God, who says “submit to your husband”! Since God “speaks to her as well” as me, she doesn’t think she needs to submit if she doesn’t agree with me. Maybe she needs to look up the meaning of the word. I don’t know. It’s all very frustrating. We celebrated our 21st anniversary at the beginning of this month, and we normally celebrate twice, once on the 1st and again on the 15th, since we technically had two weddings. I don’t think we will be doing that this year. I don’t think I can do it considering that she doesn’t appear to love, honor or obey.
As I stated before, for the time being my kids and I will have a bi-weekly bible study, which is off to a good start, until I can find us another church. IF I can find us another church. We will have our own communion, which the evening service at the old church did not do, so we haven’t participated in the practice in well over a year and if we can do some praise jams we will (everyone in the house plays guitar in some form and some of us play percussion).
Thank you all for your prayers, which have no doubt been of much help. If you remember us, please continue to pray that, going forward, the Holy Spirit will guide us in our studies and present to us the opportunity to share the gospel with others and maybe even invite others in to enjoy in reading and discussing the word of God.