I still have not decided what to do regarding my church or the pastors. Though I am leaning toward leaving, it is a somewhat difficult decision to make. On the one hand I have my duty which is to protect my family and ensure they know the truth of God and the bible, which, to me, can be easily understood with a simple reading in most cases (the word does have some intricacies, and Paul tells us that there is both milk for the young and meat for the mature). On the other hand is a group of people that, for all their faults, still love the Lord and do much to help the poor and needy, but seem misguided, as many churches seem with regards to headship and interpreting scripture through the lens of culture.
The choice seems simple enough, but its not. Well, not to me, anyhow.
Removing my family from the church would require that I either find another church quickly or start to teach them myself either indefinitely or until we find a suitable church. We would be alienating friends for a time, though I think that, in the end, everyone would get over it. It might mean having to discipline my wife if she goes against my instruction and decides to attend the church anyway.
We have had issues in the past and now I don’t know if, possibly, some of those issues stemmed from the teaching of the pastor or the advice given to my wife by the other ladies of the church. Removing her from the situation doesn’t mean she will act any better, nor does it mean she will even take time to sit and attend a bible study with the rest of the family or even trust that anything I have to say regarding the word is true. She reads and studies on her own and with friends, she thinks she has no need to study with me.
Staying in the church means that we would, at least, get to hear some teaching, but now I am unsure of how solid that teaching will be. I have listened to these guys preach for ten years now and, to date, they have been pretty spot on. I have disagreed with them in some things, but they were minor things such as alcohol consumption. I can honestly say that in these 10 years the subject of headship and women in the church has never come up, part of the problem with non-expository teaching: you get to pick and choose your subjects instead of reading the word line by line and dealing with what is being said. Full coverage of the scripture, I guess you could say.
Pastor B told me that another man in the church had approached him with the same questions as I did, about women teaching at the head of the church and being silent. B told him the same thing he told me, that it was cultural and that if we concentrate on one thing (women being silent in the churches) then we miss out on a lot of other wisdom and teaching, and that satan could be causing us to hold onto that word, ‘silent’.
I’m leaning towards leaving. What else does B filter through ‘culture’? Everything seems on the up and up, with the exception of dealing with women. Typical. I think, maybe, I could have lived with his acceptance of women teaching at the pulpit and could have just kept my family away on those nights he decided to let a woman stand in his place and teach, but his assertion that men are spiritually dead or Pharisees for not accepting a teaching from women sealed the deal. That was wrong, very wrong, for him to do. That combined with an acceptance of rebellion from wives who’s husbands don’t live up to some unwritten litmus test of spirituality and maturity makes for some dangerous teaching. It flies in the face of everything I have been teaching my sons.
I think I’m done.