If you read your bible you should be familiar with the following sets of verses:

Ephesians 5:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Something that came up earlier this evening, during my discussion with my aunt, was that “husbands cannot expect wives to be obedient to them or respect them if they haven’t proven themselves trustworthy”. This is a common argument amongst both Christian and non-Christian women.

By the same token, maybe women shouldn’t expect men to love them when they are acting disobedient or disrespectful. After all, the church is obedient to Christ, willing to do whatever He asks. If wives cannot act in the same manner then they shouldn’t expect their husbands to love them. I know it says men should love their wives “as Christ loves the church”, but shouldn’t wives obey their husbands “as the church is subject to Christ”?

You see, this is why the above two scriptures are there and are VERY important. These two commandments remove the responsibility from both the husband and the wife to be like their examples, as well as removing the excuse from both husbands and wives that they cannot love or obey because the other does not meet an expectation. By issuing commandments God has said, “Do this thing because it pleases Me, not because the your spouse deserves or doesn’t deserve it.” Without these commandments you can see how things quickly descend into a circular vortex. I cant love her because she isn’t obedient, I can be obedient because he doesn’t love me. The commandment is the tie-breaker. I cant love her because she isn’t obedient, but I will because it pleases God. I cant be obedient because he doesn’t love me, but I will because it pleases God.

I don’t think a lot of Christian couples realize this, but it is important information to have. I know this is, like, my third or fourth post today, but I have a lot going on in my head, so bear with me, please.