Don’t like my attitude? Change your expectations!

Why do so many Christian women act like this? I suspect its because they have been raised in a feminist society and, despite their Christianity, nearly every one of them has a streak of feminism in them. They can’t help it, it’s how their brains are programmed and it takes a woman who is very strong in relationship with Christ to see it within herself and kill it.  Christian wives should be submitting and conforming to their husbands leadership, but instead we get this – an attitude of ‘if you don’t like how I am then tough luck’. I had said in an older post that at some point all women hit The Wall and lose their outer beauty. When that happens all that’s left is their inner self, which can be extremely ugly. Unfortunately there is no makeup or medical procedure that can be purchased to hide that mess – only a heart transplant can fix it (if you know what I mean). This attitude not only hastens the inevitable meeting with The Wall, but it seriously destroys a woman’s inner beauty. Don’t believe me? Wait until your old, wrinkled and ignored by most everyone and suddenly realize that your husband looks at you with both sadness and disdain in his eyes. Sadness because he knows that you were once a woman he loved and cared for, and disdain because your bitter attitude killed that woman, and replaced it with a soulless hag.

I see a perfect example of this in the grandparents of a friend. The husband is an shrunken old preacher while the wife is a heavy-set harpy who can never be wrong. The husband is dying. He is old and tired, having had to go through multiple medical procedures these past couple of years. He requires round the clock medical attention and several medications, but his wife will not allow it. She will not allow the home care nurse into the house. She goes on and on about how they cannot afford the medication he needs to be taking. She controls every aspect of her husbands life and he is unable to do anything about it due to his medical conditions.  The poor man has confessed that he is ready to go, longing to be free from this world and at home in the next. He may love his wife, even still, but I doubt he likes her at all. Her attitude is unchangeable, but only because she chooses not to change it.

Is that what the definition of being a helpmeet has turned into? Have we replaced “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,…” with “If you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”  The latter may sound really cool, but it is hardly scriptural.

Should men begin to apply this same attitude to their lives? If you cannot accept me beating you when I am angry then you sure as hell don’t deserve my gifts to you when I am happy! If you cannot accept me when I am unemployed and we are living on the streets then you sure as hell don’t deserve me when I am making millions and have a beautiful house on the coast!

Doesn’t sound as great when its put that way, does it?

Society has trained women to think they are angels. Spotless and blameless. Men are supposed to feel blessed to even be in their presence – garbage, all of it. Christian women, most of all, should know that God has an expectation of them, and they should do everything they can to meet that expectation because it pleases Him who expects it. What is that expectation? See the above paragraph, in bold, but beware, once you know, you are accountable.

Luke 12:

47 And that servant who knew his master’s will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.



Author: SnapperTrx

Just a guy on the internet.

7 thoughts on “Don’t like my attitude? Change your expectations!”

  1. Snapper – excellent post; very sad story.

    when i was married to my first husband, he was so terrible that i thought i was a pretty good wife! married to my second husband, he’s so good to me, never abuses me, loves me, is firm when he needs to be, and my sin blares at me like flashing lights on a dark night. it’s hard to process sometimes and sure makes me humble.

    1. Yes it is a sad story.

      You know, I’m just lost. I don’t know if its a man/woman thing, but I suspect it is. It just seems like too many Christian women don’t care about obeying scripture. They know! That’s the problem! THEY KNOW! They read the same words I read, so its not a matter of ignorance, but of rebellion. Being a stubborn rock is a male trait, it doesn’t look good on women. In men it can be considered a good trait, though too much of it can make a man seem heartless. In women it takes nary a drop to turn her into a snobby hag. I think the other half of the problem is that husbands don’t call their wives out on this issue. I refuse to believe that any man watches his wife act in this manner and gets the warm/fuzzies. Its shameful and frustrating, but men are too afraid to stop their wives and tell them they are in the wrong. I know because I do it myself sometimes. Its just easier to not have to pull the pin on that grenade, which is another subject. Despite that, however, it is my responsibility to ‘wash her in the water of the word’, and if I do not I am only inviting worse trouble. Decisions, decisions. Only one, however, pleases God, which should be my main goal.

      1. it seems we’ve had some of this discussion before?

        your point about husbands not pointing it out to their wives is important. my first husband would get angry with me all the time but would never, NEVER tell me why. he’d say passive-aggressive things like, “You *always* do that.” but … what was *that*? and why did it make him angry? if he’d been honest with me, it would have helped. it was sooo hard to get answers.

        women are not the best source, in general, for answers b/c we coddle each other too much. when one woman calls another out on something, there’s an auditorium of others willing to support the poor one being called out.

        for some, though, they honestly don’t ‘see’ it … you know, like that pile of stuff that you meant to get to but forgot about even though it’s sitting in plain view?

        it’s hard to let God work on others in His time when we have already learned *that* lesson.

      2. I’m sure this subject has been breached in the past, but it rises up again as I see this issue happing again.

        Husbands have a difficult time pointing these things out to their wives because A) its a tough thing to do anyway because nobody really enjoys it and B) applying the word of God toward your wife is tough to do when she thinks she is better than you. The churches have done a fantastic job of spreading the lie that women are holier and closer to God than men (where is THAT in the bible?) and this naturally leads some women to believe they don’t need to listen to someone who knows LESS than they do. Thus when a husband approaches his wife and says ‘Hey, babes, look, I think your attitude lately has been really disrespectful and is out of line with the word of God.” the natural reaction of the wife is “Who do you think you are? You may think your interpretation of the bible is correct, but I don’t think it is, so tough luck. After all, I’m more in touch with God than you are. I read bible study books three times a week and you only go to one men’s group and Sunday mornings. Don’t tell ME what the bible says!”

        This, itself could be a good reason why Paul told the women that, if they have questions, to ask their husbands. At least then the husband/wife train of thought was on the same track, rather than the wife hearing a bunch of pap from three or four different sources and then blindsiding her husband with ‘Well I know better because….”.

        It probably makes me sound like a jerk, but I would rather my wife avoid bible studies and junk and just read the bible with me so we could be in understanding together, rather than her be inundated with so much noise. She keeps asking me for another bible study book, but after reading about some of the previous authors she has read I don’t know if I care for her reading any more stuff outside of the 100% bible.

      3. wow. i totally support you on the women’s bible study thing. i’ve seen the same, and i don’t like it.

        an idea? perhaps pick a topic she might be interested in and have her look up all the verses related to that topic in the bible … fitness could be one. health another. something ‘neutral’ – not necessarily masculine or feminine. i did that with ‘friend(s)’ once with my niece when she was little b/c she was having some conflict with friends. every verse we looked up and read she related to. it was pretty cool.

        idk what to do about women (or men) who flat-out refuse to *see* the truth. sometimes we can only pray they have ears to hear and eyes to see.

        what you describe sounds a lot like my first husband. he knew the bible backwards and forwards, grew up never missing church, did bible studies, taught bible study/sunday school, was even loved and beloved by many. but he didn’t live it out behind closed doors. 😦

  2. Snapper,

    I enjoyed this post. You may remember me from a thread on BGR Biblical Gender Roles about dressing to please our husbands.

    If only the other women of my generation could see the happiness there is in submitting with the right attitude and dressed to please…what a different world it could be. Jamie

    1. Hello, and thank you, I am glad you enjoyed the post. It’s particularly nice to hear that my thoughts and posts are not merely the writings of a madman, but are actually the same sentiment as some others out there.

      The key point I try to make is that it is CHRISTIAN women that should be aware of how they should be acting. We cant expect non-believers to act like believers, but we certainly shouldn’t bee seeing believers act as non-believers. I blame our feminist society and churches that are afraid to call women out for their failure to be obedient to scripture. We may never be able to fix society, but proper teaching by the churches should be an effective inoculation against it. Not every ‘Christian woman” will be able to resist their feminist upbringing, but the right teaching can certainly help many.

      BTW, welcome to my blog.

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