Ladies, dont burn up your husbands affections.

Was having a deep convo with a friend the other day and he had talked about the fact that because of his wife’s attitude and previous actions earlier in their marriage, he was struggling with keeping affection for her. Oh, he loves her, but his big issue was that, when he hears songs on the radio that SHOULD make him think of his wife, he just cant bring himself to put her in that place. Too much pain is still there, the deep cuts still bleed, and her attitude after all their struggle doesn’t seem to have changed much.

Ladies, don’t burn up your husbands affection towards you. Sometimes its a slow burn caused by disrespect, anger, disobedience, sometimes its a quick flare up when you do something that does catastrophic damage to your marriage – but eventually he will tire. He will still love you, but when he looks at you all he will see in his minds eye is years of struggle, and it will be as a great weight on his shoulders. Actions have consequences.

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Author: SnapperTrx

Just a guy on the internet.

9 thoughts on “Ladies, dont burn up your husbands affections.”

  1. Examples? Well examples of a slow burn out would be being disobedient, difficult to deal with, excessively critical, disrespectful. I guess it would be easier to say “a bitchy attitude”. I know many who travel the manosphere are familiar with ‘The Wall’, the point in a ladies life where her beauty has passed and all she has left is her inner self. That inner self directly affects the husbands view of her at that point. Others may see a wrinkled old woman, but he sees that inner self – the girl he fell in love with even through the gray hair and wrinkles. That inner self can be greatly damaged when a woman lives a life of continual bitchiness or if she does something catastrophic to do immediate damage like being unfaithful or betraying her husbands trust, or it can be a thing of biblical beauty if she has lived a life according to the Word of God (1 Peter 3:3-4) I’m pretty sure modern girls could care less about what their inner selves will look like once their tight buns and perky boobs are gone and they have nothing left to offer but who they are inside. Unfortunately my friends wife has done things in the past that caused some major damage and, judging by her current behavior, she doesn’t seem quite content to be the submissive and kind-hearted wife she is called to be as a Christian. I wont go into details about the situation, but the fact that he can hear a ‘love song’ on the radio and has trouble stirring up images of his wife in his mind while listening to it is a sure sign that she is burning up his ability to feel affection toward her, and damaging her own inner self.

  2. you know … this stuff, it’s not just for marriage. it’s for all of life. be kind. be nice. be thoughtful. it’s not all about you. honor God in every area of your life. it’s a whole person thing.

    so sorry for your friend 😦

    1. Your statement is very true. The ‘inner self’ I refer too is also perceived by those closest to a woman: her children, grandchildren, family and friends. Eventually they will all be exposed to it and there is no makeup or procedure she can go through to make it look better than it really is. She can attempt to hide its ugliness for a while, but to do so would be tiring and eventually the façade would drop. The inner self of a Godly woman, though, will be unable to be hidden. It will shine like the sun! Her children will love to be near her and her grandchildren will adore her. She will be known amongst her friends as a joy! Her husband will always see his lovely wife, even until his last day. It DOES all come from honoring God in every area of your life, no matter how difficult that can sometimes be.

  3. Wow these comments are gold!

    And Ame is right, it DOES apply to more than just marriage. If a friend is continuously passive aggressive, and nit-picky and self-righteous, of course it affects how we’ll see them and treat them in the future.

    “It’s not all about you.”

    ^Yea… be nice and accepting of others and their personal tastes and they’ll respect your own preferences in return. Truth!

    1. Watch “Steel Magnolias”. Perfect example of what we are talking about. You have the sweet old ladies who are kind and gentle, and it reflects in how we perceive their looks. They aren’t lookers anymore, but we perceive them as kind and pretty or cute. The screwed up old bat lady can’t hide it. Every time you see her you just know she is ugly because of her attitude and not just her lack of looks. She has her moments, but in the end she is always sour. Nobody really likes her because her attitude brings everyone down.

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