If you have spent any time on my blog you know that, amongst the posts about wooden swords, Led Zeppelin and Final Fantasy I post my views and opinions on Christian women and, sometimes, women in general. My intent for this blog was not to rail against women, or even to post political views, but I found myself needing an outlet to vent my anger and frustration against the distorted view of womanhood society, and even the modern church, tries to implant into women, young and old. I have a wife whom I love, but who doesn’t really consider me to be a leader of the home. Some of that is my own past coming back to haunt me, but much of it is her own upbringing and her refusal to be fully obedient to Gods word. I have a daughter whom I love but who has been raised in a society that tells her she is better than any man and that working and going to school should be more important than having children.
“Well, Snapper,”, you might say, “You sound like a misogynistic pig – and I’m a Christian! Shame on you!”. Well, I would agree. I DO sound like a misogynistic pig, and I’m fine with that. It seems to me that many people, including Christians, don’t fully understand that God created men and women with unique and INTENTIONAL differences. No, not just physical differences, but differences in priority and authority as well. Most people know this scripture, and quote it to “prove” that we are all equal:
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.
Indeed you would be right to say we are all equal – in the kingdom of heaven. On earth, however, God has set up many differences. He has set up authorities, he has made man and woman, and He has done this for a purpose. Perhaps a not so often quoted scripture is:
1 Corinthians 11:
8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. 10 For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.
Here is a scripture that is often forgotten by Christians because it says, very plainly, that there is an authority structure created, by God, between men and women. It makes men uncomfortable to say they have authority over their wives, and it makes women angry to think that they are under the authority of their husbands. Despite dedicating themselves to living lives that please God, they will BOTH willfully ignore these types of scriptures.
That being said, I want to make it clear that I do not hold Christian women in contempt, nor do I blame them for the current state of the American society or the American church. They are HALF of the problem, yes, but the other half lies solely at the feet of Christian men. To be truthful, I don’t think half is an adequate measurement, I would probably say the balance lies more around 70/30, with the larger half leaning on women. I say this because women, just as men, have the bible, which they are free to read and learn from, but many women refuse to actually do the learning part when it comes to putting themselves under the authority of their husbands. Also men have had the deck stacked against them over the past few decades that make it nearly impossible to exercise his authority in the home without putting himself, his assets and his children at risk of being taken by an unhappy wife or by the state. It may sound like I am an awful jerk of a man, but the truth is in plain view via any basic internet search for the proper terms.
This doesn’t really absolve men from doing their duty and utilizing their authority while maintaining their responsibilities, though many men just give up and let themselves be walked over by their wives and their church. In this post I am going to talk about MY responsibility as a husband and father, as well as where men are failing, and what I think can be done about it. This is just my opinion, but I will back up my opinion with scripture. If you choose to take any of these steps make sure you always start by first spending time in prayer and, though it is rarely taught nowadays, fasting.
Provision and Work
A Christian man should be providing all the basic needs for his wife and family by working and brining home a paycheck. The bible is very clear about the plight of a man who does not provide for his family:
1 Timothy 5:
7 And these things command, that they may be blameless. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Did you see what that says there? Worse than an unbeliever! If you know the bible you know that those are extremely harsh and powerful words. What happens to unbelievers? They, unfortunately, cannot enter the kingdom of heaven and are instead sent to hades with satan and his ilk. Certainly not what we want as Christian men!
Personally I don’t know a lot of Christian men who suffer from lack of providing for their families unless they are out of work, which is a different situation. As Christian men we should not be willingly sitting out of the workplace either gathering a welfare check or, just as bad, allowing our wives to be the primary breadwinners of the household! Notice the wording in this passage: “But if anyone does not provide for his own or for those of his household, he has denied the faith…”. I see nothing here indicating that the provider of the household should be anyone other than the man of the household. We can try to attribute this to the ‘culture of the time’, but God is timeless, and the words of the bible are not written haphazardly, but with meaning and intent. God chose he and his for a reason.
Of course its a different situation if a man is disabled and unable to work to provide for his household, but even then I think that he should be doing what he can to provide something, even if it means selling insurance by phone, so long as he can hold the phone.
Another way I think Christian men fail in this particular spot is failure to recognizing what it means to provide for his household. A prideful heart can cause a man to feel that his family needs to have all the latest and greatest clothing, gadgets and gizmos, regardless of how much money they do or do not have, putting the family in financial stress. Or allowing your wife and children to dictate what gets purchased based on their pride is just as big a failure. We have authority over our households and, in the end, it is up to us to make sure we are as financially stable as possible. To allow your wife or children to control this by giving into complaining or, sometimes, crying and whining, is not good.
A miserly heart can cause a man to be a penny-pincher, buying everything on the cheap with the intent of hoarding money (not necessarily because that’s what the family can afford).
Even if, as men, we give our wives the responsibility of balancing the budget, we should never be so out of touch that we do not know what is going on in some measure. We should always be aware of where money is going and where we are on the financial landscape, no matter who is signing the checks or paying the bills. Why? Because it’s our responsibility.
I think this post has gone on long enough for the moment, but I will continue it in another post.
Also, if you are a man reading this do not mistake my post for arrogance. I suffer from failure in all of these points at some time or another, and we all will! As a Christian, however, I can go before God and ask forgiveness, as well as for the wisdom and strength to better please Him by doing what is required of me. I am certainly far from the perfect man, but I’m friends with someone who is!
Also I must admit that I am glad I have posted my frustrations on Christian women, as it has introduced me to a number of fellow bloggers, some of them women, who at least listen to what I have to say, rather than merely discounting it. This, my friends, is called gaining wisdom and it is, primarily, the problem I see with Christian women in todays society: The refuse to gain wisdom, instead opting to become offended by criticism rather than ask why they are being criticized and learning from it (if there is something to learn). Let us pray that we all, both men and women, when convicted in our hearts, would look for why we feel conviction and what we can do about it rather than merely get offended. Let us gain wisdom, who’s worth is greater than fine gold.